TEAM SPROCKETS BIKE CLUB

In The Garden of Cycling Shoppers Delight

2011-06-01T06:12:00.006-05:00

By Luxo-D

So many choices, so many brands...what do I do? Help me Oujia-Wan, you're my only hope.

It seems like, but isn't, but it seems like, everywhere I look, people are talking about or thinking about buying a bicycle. Oh sure, there is no shortage of chatter about the subject. The constant droning on about this bike, and that frame, or that drive-train, and so on and so on. It is almost like there is a kind of sickness out there that makes people blather on about what they want to get. And believe me, talk is most definitely CHEAP.

A rational person would never allow this kind of velo-consumption to go beyond the idle browsing. No. For them it's on to the next thing, lawnmowers, vacuums, TV's. But we're not talking about "rational" people are we...no we are not. We're talking about a person with a kind cycling perversion that goes outside of common day shopping norms. Indeed, a trained psychiatrist would deem these types of cycling shoppers, borderline "Institutional." However, there is more than meets the eye...

There are basically two kinds of cycling shoppers in ME uneducated opinion. The first one, is the dude that shows up at every cycling in shop in town, looking at this that and the other thing, only to be confronted by a hopeful shop clerk desperate to make a sale, only to be brushed off with these depressing words..."Thanks, I'm just browsing." The second shopper, is the notorious "Online" guy, searching and searching in endless agony to seek out a deal no matter where. Whether it's ebay, Craig's List, or any number of online cycling discount sites - retail price shall never be paid, EVER! Fortunately, yours truly here, has found the happy balance between them all...

Catalogs.

Yes catalogs! I love them! They are everything a shopper could want in an experience. Beautiful, glossy, large, well photographed pictures of beautiful cycling machines, displayed in perfect settings, and posed in the most enticing angles to maximize the shopping experience. With brief descriptions of all the different models, accented with juicy tid-bits of personality for all sorts of different types of riding needs. As well as, elaborate and detailed specifications, of component options, to contrast and compare...eh hem. Excuse me, I seemed to be getting a little flush writing about this...

So, in conclusion...a well informed bicycle shopper is a happy bicycle shopper. No matter where you buy. Good luck.

The Gary Fisher-Freewheel Bike Freedom Ride!

2011-05-10T19:07:00.012-05:00

By Luxo-D

As a full-blooded American dude, nothing gets me more excited than a little old fashioned colonial time revolutionary celebratory action. Between fire-works, the Forth of July, and folks decked out in Revolutionary era costumes, just to ride bikes, is enough to make you start humming the Star Spangled Banner. So when I heard about this event...well let's just say, Yankee Doodle was another hot tune of the day...

Hear ye, hear ye, let FREEDOM ring out! The RIGHT to ride is on! The Gary Fisher-Freewheel Bike Freedom ride has ridden!

And so it was this last weekend at the Freewheel Bike Cycling Freedom Ride. A cycling retailer extravaganza of enthusiasm and camaraderie for over two hundred participants! A 90 minute ride starting from the original West Bank Store on the University of Minnesota campus, to the extremely handy Mid-Town Shop on the Mid-Town Greenway, out to the brand NEW Eden Prairie Store to sign the Freedom Ride Cyclists’ Bill of Rights – a document extolling the virtues and rights about cycling anywhere, any place, anytime. Not to mention the chance to ride with the very important VIP and special guest himself – the man responsible for starting mountain biking as we know it...Gary Fisher (Founder of Gary Fisher bicycles.)

It was a jolly and sprite time too, with perfect riding weather to boot. Yay, for yours truly, I felt honored to be riding with this wholesome bunch of enthusiastic cyclists for sure. Indeed, the chance to ride with Gary Fisher, was an opportunity not worth missing! I even spoke to the man too! Our conversation went like this... I said, "Hi Gary." He said, "Hi." I said, "I like your glasses." He said, "Thanks." I said, "How long are you here?" He said, "Just today." I said, "Ah." Furthermore, what could be more fun and spirited, than the event hosts and coordinators from Freewheel Bike and the very creative, hot Minneapolis advertising agency known as Pocket Hercules – all riding in FULL American Revolutionary Continental costumes! A challenge I might add to ride on bike.

Finally, at the end of the ride, the crowd was treated to a smorgasbord of tasty treats, bratworst, hotdogs, and refreshments, as well as receiving a complimentary 20% Off on all merchandise for anyone that rode and signed the Cycling Bill of Rights. This Kid...exercised his LIBERTY with a set of new Vittoria tires.

This was definitely the Stroker Ace in FREEDOM. No doubt!

The unkind atmosphere of April

2011-05-01T07:20:00.005-05:00

By Luxo-D

Who said that famous quote..."April is for Lovers?" Or was it..."Georgia?" I don't know, there is some quote that defines April. Generally, a lot of us have been looking forward to bicycling season all winter long. Like you, the thought of getting out there and enjoying some really awesome Spring weather has been a nugget of anticipation for quite some time. Just the thought of perfect Spring temperatures mixed with the first long light of sun, is enough to get a dude pretty stoked up. Unless...

April – The Siren of Despair...
Yeah, a guy could just sit there and blubber in his beer and cry like a big fat baby about how bad the weather has been. You know, whine about how it's raining, or it's too cold, or too windy, or whatever. I too (Brute), thought the long melancholy of winter was over – only to be subverted by this siren of annoying bad weather. But look, I think...and I don't much...think there is an opportunity at play here to harvest the dream. That is, IF your water bottle is not half empty? Indeed, why not take this moment to test new gear, new routes, and new abilities in personal endurance? In a way, embrace the adversity of poor conditions, and reap the benefits gained by Velo SURVIVAL of the Fittest!

Make it SO number one...
Hey folks, there's lots of stuff a committed cyclist can do when the weather sucks whazoo. Like... adjust your saddle for instance, or tweak your shoe cleats, or visit a favorite bike shop, or go to a bike expo, or look at bike gear online until your wife says "Get the hell off the computer!"... You know, stuff like that. I'm just saying, you don't have to squander the moment because it's not perfect out. Being a wussy is a state of mind, not an act of treason...

So, double up those shorts, put on the windbreaker, or slip into some knickers! Live the adventure and ride for your life! After all, it's only...

"The Suite Life of Zak and Coty!"

Jerseys in transit

2011-04-12T20:03:00.005-05:00

By Luxo-D

I got a call from Canari Cycle Wear yesterday...

"Your jerseys are ready and being delivered."

Most excellent.

Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival – Last Ditch Hope

2011-04-11T06:08:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

For quite some time, it has been a goal to ride in the Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival. But for reasons of bad luck, I have not gotten in. Until now...

The Cheq Fat Tire is a grueling 40 mile hill laden mountain bike race on the American Birkenbiener Trail, in beautiful Cable/Hayward, Wisconsin every September. With limited space and over 15oo participants, the event organizers must use a lottery system to choose the riders for for the big day. As you can imagine, with limited space, the spots are indeed coveted. Like everyone else, I mailed my entry and fee, and took my chances to be picked from obscurity, to be selected to the ride this awesome bike race... I wasn't.

Now what? After 4 years of not getting in, what were my choices. Sit at home again. Well not so fast! It had come to my attention, that there may be one more option, one last desperate chance to get into this incredible cycling event... a letter. For those, that had the unfortunate luck NOT to be chosen, the event organizers had another chance for an enthusiastic rider to give it a shot. The official "Please Let Me In." Cheq Fat tire Essay Contest! Though tightly limited, and purely at the discretion of the organizers good will – this was a chance for any hopeful participant to plead their pathetic case, why HE or SHE should get to ride in this great race.

So...like any caged animal, I did exactly that, write an essay, why yours truly was worthy to ride. A literary last ditch do or die situation, in the only way I know I could. Like the eternal optimist I am on occasion, I hoped this was just the right stuff to stand out. Much to my surprise, I was quite shocked when the Head Man of the show e-mailed me a message with this simple announcement...

"Snatched from the jaws of defeat!" Your essay has been chosen...we'll save you a spot in the race!

A virtual Stroker-Ace of the pen indeed.

Freewheel Bike, Eden Prairie – Up & Cranking!

2011-03-17T18:33:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

Every once in awhile, there is good news. And sometimes that news comes in the form of progress. Just when it seems like the status quo is set – something happens to shakes things up. Like you, I enjoy my visits to the bike shops. Heck, when the season is in full swing, I find myself hanging around these joints more than I would dare to admit. In fact, some of the proprietors of these shops often scold me, by saying stuff like..."Hey you, whadda you doing standing around for – get to work!"

So, when I heard Freewheel Bike was opening a brand NEW shop in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, I checked my shorts. If you don't know, Freewheel Bike is a Twin Cities bicycle retailer revered among avid cyclist for awesome product selection and customer service since 1974. Owned by Bloomington resident Kevin Ishaug. The location of the new 7,000-square foot store is in the old Outback Steakhouse spot at 12910 Plaza Drive, near the intersection of I-494 and Hwy. 5/212, kinda near the Eden Prairie Center shopping mall.

And these guys got the stuff! Trek, Gary Fisher, Surly, Moots, and Look among others. Not to mention the gear – clothes, shoes, racks, parts, tools, and helmets, etc. And they also got the passionate dudes to take care of it, without making you feel like an idiot. With "Golden Wrench" mechanics to make everything all right and round. Certified to install and repair SRAM, Shimano, Trek, Avid, and many more serious gear I know nothing about.

If you're nostalgic or location is your deal, don't worry – you can always check out the ORIGINAL store on the West Bank of the University of Minnesota campus. Or the Midtown Bike Center located near the Midtown Greenway. They've got lots of stuff at those places to boot.

I don't know about you, but this KID is booking his way down to the Open House this Saturday! Plus, they will have 20% off all merchandise, and there's a drawing to win a NEW Trek road bike too! The open house goes through March 19 - 28.

This my friends... is the STROKER-ACE of bike shopping opportunity.

Feets of Fury!

2011-03-16T20:42:00.001-05:00

By Luxo-D

Hey cool cats, are you ready to get it on? The riding season is here, and the big question for the day is – are you ready to unleash your "Feets of Fury?"

Hell, look at this dude... he's got it going on! Right? I don't know about you, but this fella is making a fashion statement that says..."I don't give a shat, if it's wet, icy, or a freaking sloppy god knows what...I'm going! With or without you. Dig!"

Who knows if he went for a ride, who knows if he actually did it, it doesn't matter. What matters, is this simple truth... the new season is not waiting for you to say...it's "Okay." It's officially on.

If I were you, and I'm not...I'd be hitting all the bike shops right now, looking for an edge. Anything, I mean anything, that separates you from them, and them from whoever. No matter if you're in the market for something or not – get down there and find what's in, out, and never was. Because people, once the yuppies show up... it's over. Or, you'll have to wait for the next sales person.

Stay dry. Sorta.

The First to Ride

2011-02-17T18:17:00.004-06:00

By Luxo-D

Talk is cheap. But every once in awhile someone says and does things to make you ponder... do you have the tenacity, the guts, to go out and do something no one suspects. The mere whisper, the declaration if you will – is enough to set a whole calamity of activity in motion. Of course the conditions need to be ripe for such events to take place – a kind of velo-gravity needing to fall just perfectly and make it...REAL. Indeed.

Now, I would love to be the first guy out there to cut some NEW road. It's crossed my mind more than once over this long winter. Dreaming of new roads and new hills is always something to cherish in deepest, dark solitude of the cold months. Yet, when I heard the other day, that The Immortal was talking "big time real" about going for bike ride...I gasped! The thought, of one of the TEAM SPROCKETS™ members going for a bike ride this early, jazzed me. Oh sure, there are lots of people out there already, and it shouldn't be much of a surprise really, with the thaw currently in play – but I was caught off guard actually. In a way, the spontaneous mention of it, impromptu and cavalier in tone – frightened and stoked me to get ready with an urgency uncommon for February. Trainer be damned!

So that my friend's is exactly what we're going to do. Get that gear out, wash those shorts, and bring that bike to the shop. Cuz...girlfriends, it's going to be here sooner than you think.

Ready or not.

New Year and a NEW Look

2011-01-17T18:22:00.006-06:00

By Luxo-D

Change is good. Like a butterfly emerging from it's chrysalis.
And so must we all.

Check out the NEW TEAM SPROCKETS™ club jersey for 2011. This is preliminary concept at the moment (subject to change), but it is darn close to the NEW look being developed by the TS Team. Fashion, oh yes – it is a bold statement indeed – classic in tenacity. With it's hot red field accented by the traditional Luxembourgian graphics, you've come to love and respect with TEAM SPROCKETS.™ It is a team jersey that demands the most uncompromising of attention, or scorn, depending on your viewpoint. Zoolander beware, there's new kid on the runway this year.

Additionally, the bright colors will prove to be beneficial on the road with potential hazards too. I don't know about you, but I prefer to be seen by drivers, even the ones preoccupied by cell phones, music, food, and god knows whatever else.

Look for the colors to flying by a road near you. Excelsior!

New Years Resolutions or Nightmares

2011-01-03T21:08:00.012-06:00

By Luxo-D

Everybody loves change. Shake it up so to speak, and make some changes you've always wished you could. Okay...

Hey man let's face it – change is hard. There's so much work to do, it's SICK. Sometimes, it just sucks to even make an effort. But we've got to try eh? What good is a new years resolution without a tiny bit of elbow grease anyway, right? Maybe throw in a smidge of positive attitude too, for good luck. Okay, I know it's not easy – I can sympathize. Partially. Not really. But at least I can listen? Well no, I don't do that either. Now Look, I've been there too, I mean it, gawd. We all have tons of crap we just never got around to. But I'm not keeping score – are you?

Don't be a Debby Downer.
Look, there were some pretty awesome goals satisfied last year no doubt. A lot in fact! I can think of at least three or four major cycling events completed. Some, that had nothing to do with actually riding a bike. Certainly, myself and other TEAM SPROCKETS™ members would generally call last season...VICTORIOUS! But just like the doped-up pros looking for that next big HIT, or that certain... god knows what, that often gets tested randomly... We need a super awesome NEW GOAL to harvest! A virtual MISSION to claim Conquest & Glory for the next year.

So, let's do it!
What's it going to be kats? New rides, new courses, new bikes, new gear? What's it gonna take to mark your year? How are YOU going to be validated by your piers, huh? Seriously, is some hot new swag going put you in the seat and make you OPTIMUS PRIME? Yeah maybe! Hell, I'm already sitting on some sweet new PEARL IZUMI SELECT road shoes, from SANTA CLAUS. At least... I got me one in the old' bag eh?

Keep it simple, dig.
Maybe this year, just try a little more time in the saddle. Or change out a needed component for some thing just a little better. Or, just shake up the diet by not going back for second helpings. Maybe even eat some fruit for crying out loud. Or...If I maybe so bold...drink less beer? How about, you get that HOT new bike you've always wanted!

In the end, little thing add up to a whole bunch of big things.

Just saying...

A Wish List to Santa

2010-12-18T22:14:00.006-06:00

By Luxo-D

What's that old phrase..."A wish in one hand, and a crap in the other...see which gets filled first," or some nonsense like that. Well that's what we got, A WISH LIST. And just what are we supposed to do with it eh? Well, I can think of about a dozen super cool things I would like to get for 2011. This wishful thinking maybe out of my control, but then again...a girl can dream, right? It's not like I'm asking..."Hey, Calgon, take me away," or anything like that. I'm just saying there are a few cool things, a cool kid like me, would love to have in the old arsenal, dig. Know what I'm sayin'?

So...where to start? Hmm, so many choices. Geez, it's like a pervert in a bra store...where to start...where to start, hmm which bra? Well let's see, maybe a cool new jersey, or some awesome nicker bibs, or maybe a kick-ass helmet, or some neat socks, or maybe some wicked road shoes or something. I guess...

What I really wish for...is a NEW cyclocross bike!

Look, I like to scheme about stuff sometimes, okay. Like how, if I get rid of this thing, then maybe I can get that thing. You know, this is The G-Man's operation all year long by the way. Nobody can scheme like that dude. Hell, he's a "Master Schemer Extraodinaire" when it comes to his next bicycle acquisition. One day it's Orbea bikes, the next day it's Look bikes, then Cervelo bikes the day after that, Focus bikes from god knows where. Anyway, right now, at this very moment that's it, a NEW cyclocross bike under the tree. I don't even know what brand I even want...heck, I like the first thing that looks super cool. I don't even give a hoot what it's got under the hood, brand or anything. It's the first impression right out of the gate. Even my brand loyalties take a big bruising, but we're wishing right, anything goes? Or does it?

Come on Santa Claus, I've been a good Joe... haven't I?

Winter? Now what?

2010-11-27T07:36:00.009-06:00

By Luxo-D

Just like that...Mother Nature flicked the switch. So now what? Oh sure I'm a little melancholy about the whole thing. It was one of the greatest spring, summer and fall riding seasons ever! Epic in awesome. So what's a cool guy supposed to do, huh...blubber in his beer? Yes. But not so fast Von Schlaunager, there are more than a few ways to skin the ol' exercise-cat, indeed.

This Big-fat-cry-baby isn't going to take it sitting down. Seriously, there are plenty of exercise opportunities for a sorry sap like yours truly to do. But WHAT is the question. Surely, we all empathize with the challenges. Or, do we all just knuckle under and surrender to the flab...? No dammit! Well...maybe, okay yeah...

Now, as much as I would like to claim the cycling hardcore-high ground in this matter – I for one, am not much of a winter cyclist. Yeah, there are dudes that ride non-stop like my work colleague 'The Stranger.' But this guy rides year round in some of the worst weather, most people would skip for the car. On the other hand, not giving away to being a total puss, I will go out if the temp is right, for a zip or two around the hood, or down to a favorite watering hole. You know, get the 'show-on' with some proper winter gear and some public attitude to show commitment to the sport...

Let's face it though, it can't be denied...cycling does have its seasonal miseries too. The indoor season is not something to be cherished that's for sure. Who can forget the torment of the bicycle trainer? An exercise device that instills a droning exercise monotony. An unsatisfying spinning to "Nowheresville." A virtual velo-purgatory, vexing, and sick. It is...the Iron Maiden and Rack of cycling. A fixed hellnation on wheels...

Luckily, there are options that suit the fair weather rider. After all, winter does have some classic recreational activities that get the blood going and the heart pumping. I for one turn my attention to hockey, downhill skiing...and shoveling. My neighbor Roy – turns to curling. Other TEAM SPROCKETS™ members I know, do other stuff...like setting mouse traps.

In the end, do what you need to do. Indeed, I think it would be wise to use this time wisely, to re prioritize. Prepare for the Spring and a better day. Kinda like...Luke Skywalker, contemplating shooting Wamp Rats in Beggers Canyon...

"Embrace the POWER of the Season."

Super (Spooky) SMURF!

2010-11-04T19:12:00.012-05:00

By Luxo-D

Back in the day, if you would have asked me, "Hey Luxo-D...you scared of the woods?" Hell no, I'm no scaredy-cat dammit! But then again, when was the last time YOU went to Murphy Hanrehan on HALLOWEEN...hmmmm girl friend?

Now I know, the sweet riding days are closing in, there's no doubt about it. And this Kid will be blubbering in his beer sooner than he'd like. So getting into the woods before the snow comes was a big driver for the TEAM SPROCKETS™ crew for sure. The G-Man, Roy, The Immortal, and yours truly (Luxo-D) gave it good ride this last weekend. Halloween to be exact. Was it Spooooooky? Oh hell yeah it was spooky! Geeez. There's MONSTERS in them woods... dang-it!

Super SMURF!
Murphy Hanrehan, is a classic, single-track mountain bike hot-spot in the south metro of Minneapolis, in the City of Prior Lake, Minnesota. With over 10 miles of winding trail, small obstacles, hills, and beautiful mixed terrain – it is a popular destination for mountain bike riders of all levels. This Halloween day, was definitely the day to be out, ride, and pose too. An absolutely gorgeous fall day to boot! Oh sure, there were plently of hot-shots on the ol' trail, but that didn't matter. The ride was totally solid. However, on a side note, I did find the G-Man's boisterous and vocal excitement of the ride at Murphy Hanrehan to be a little bit enthusiastic. I wouldn't say annoying or any accusations as such, but HE did enjoy the banter of his own grunts, squeels, and yalps, anytime he hit a sharp curve, rock, bump and anything else. In fact, he earned the temporary moniker of "The Crazy Screaming Guy," in the woods, and it did prove useful at times. Coincidentally, a co-worker of the his, "The Dust-Man," whipped passed us on the trail – unaware of the bombastic-racket announcing our presence. Besides that, the trail conditions and camaraderie could not have better! After two hours, we were spent. In the end, we quenched our thirsts and savored our ride.

Afterward, some of the boyz of TEAM SPROCKETS™ treated themselves to a lip-smacking treat from McDonald's to nurse the post ride blues. With the FAMOUS and limited time-only McRib Sandwich. A tasty snack of splendor indeed.

I give this ride a "SPOOKER-ACE" for awesome!

Hayward Fat-Tire Unofficial

2010-10-26T19:26:00.018-05:00

By Luxo-D

Who loves a weekend get away? Well I sure as heck do – how about you? You know, get away from the monotony of the rat race, and responsibility, by having "The Good Ol' Times," with your buddies, and stuff. Get out on the bike dammit, and ride your brains out! For mountain biking...this is it. A carnival of biking delight!

Where to Bruté?
Hayward Wisconsin, is your classic weekend excursion in this part of the upper midwest. 3 hours Northeast of the Twin Cities more or less. A regular fisherman's cabin oasis to be exact. With a plethora of cabins, lakes, and woods. It is also home to a fairly popular mountain bike race every September as well – The Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival. A classic 40 mile mountain bike race on pretty nice chunk of the American Birkebeiner Cross Country Ski Trail.

The boys of TEAM SPROCKETS™ gave it a go recently, and to much joy indeed. With an excellent mix of single track, logging roads, snowmobile/ATV trails, paved highway, and The Birky Trail – it was your basic variety of ambrosia, pure and simple. The G-Man, Spud, and myself drove up from the Twin Cities the Friday night before, (including four stops to McDonald's for a chocolate shakes), so we could get a fresh start the following day. We stayed at an awesome lake cabin called Haycreek Cabin, nestled snugly into a fantastic wooded area on a gorgeous lake in the Chippewa Flowage.

Expedition Activated
Getting started at a reasonable time the following Saturday morning, we visited a local bike shop in town, for some reassuring guidance. The Blue Moon Bicycle Store. It is an awesome store, with a great selection of bicycles, and accessories. It also has plenty of cross country ski gear too, if you're into that kind a thing. We got plenty advice, recommendations, and directions for our full day Odyssey. Our route was straight forward enough, Hayward to Cable.
We even enjoyed a wonderful lunch at a local woodfired pizza establishment midway through our ride in Cable to boot (The Rivers Eatery & Ideal Market). With a bounty of thirst quenching beers too, I might add. The pizza...savory vontastic!

The BEST Day Ever
If there was a perfect weekend for weather, this was it! An absolutely beautiful fall day for riding. The forest was at it's peak of Fall color, with the air temperature at a regular 60 degrees the entire day, and a gentle, comforting breeze. It was a treat, to switch back from single track, to trail, to logging road, and then back through out the
day – variety was definitely the name of the game. Hills? Plenty galore that's for sure. A never ending roller coaster of them.

Finally, after it was all done, with cramps setting in, and the disorientation working it's magic...we savored our victory with Steak, wine, good banter and Bruce Lee and Quentin Tarantino movies. The next morning, after a great night sleep, morning coffee, and National Lampoons Animal House, we celebrated our weekend Odyssey with a classic morning breakfast at one of Hayward's classic breakfast institutions...The Norskie Nook.

Not too shabby, I'd say...eh? Here's to the "Good Ol' Times."

The San Francisco Treat!

2010-10-14T20:06:00.017-05:00

By Luxo-D

Much of this riding season, I've talked about cutting NEW road. Going places different, and never taking the same route twice. In fact, the whole meaning of seeking out new places, puts the mustard into the meaning of EXPLORATION. Even if it means taking a familiar route in reverse, just to shake things up. It's all good in theory...but what I'm talking about now is a TOUR.

The San Francisco Treat
A tour to me is exactly that. Riding around a place to see what it's got. Oddly, I never thought I would find my self riding in San Francisco recently. And to my delight, it proved to be quite excellent, for a guy who had never been there before. I put some thought into how I wanted to ride – mostly. I did have maps, a notion where to go, a good discussion at a local bike rental outfit, and plenty of unfettered ambition. Yet, any trepidations I may have had, were masked by an utter and complete joy, knowing that this effort was really, truly happening.

"Hill-City U.S.A!"
Someone said to me before I left..."Hey Luxo-D, San Fran's got some big hills, you know." No shit indeed - monsters the like I've never seen! Holy Cow, just getting on top of the Golden Gate was a task onto it self. But this route was total – Fisherman's Wharf, to the Golden Gate bridge, to Sausalito, all around the bay to Tiburon. I Debated, taking the route in reverse, just to savor the opportunity to do it again, but I decided to get aboard the Ferry back to the big city instead. Why not, that hadn't been done either! And what a joy it was too. The ferry is action packed to boot right from the launch. Past Angel Island, past Alcatraz Prison, with an awesome view of the Bay Bridge as well. Ironically, it just also happened to be FLEET WEEK. Basically, it's a big celebration of the Navy Fleet coming to port for Liberty. There were sailors everywhere! And talk about a parade – majestic sailboats of all kinds in the bay, with full wind in their sails. The Blue Angels air performers were giving a stunt show, of epic proportions, the weather....a picture of beauty.

In the end, what more can be said...but ABSOLUTE VICTORY!

Getting a little Lucky-13

2010-09-29T18:50:00.008-05:00

By Luxo-D

Ride for a goal? Yeah that's a good achievement. You know, do something instead of nothing. Be validated, and you will have credibility. I dig the street cred. However, measurements can be doled out in other tangible ways as well. Oh yes. Most cyclist I know, after a good ride – love to par take in a certain, shall we say...post ride refreshment. Hydration, is a necessity after all. Ironically, many - not all, enjoy a tasty malt beverage after a ride, heck, some believe it is therapeutic. I don't know about that, but I'll believe it for now. Some call it quenching a thirst. I call it..."Getting Lucky."

Lucky 13
There's lots of places to replenish precious bodily fluids. I can think of all sorts of joints that would get the job done. However, making one's way to a much beloved watering hole is always the ticket of day. There's nothing like a charming sanctuary of calm, that you can call you own... in fact relish. Old Mendota delivers a fine pub to fit that bill...The Lucky 13! This hearty bar, tucked, snugly in the town center of the little river village of Mendota, Minnesota – is a delicious treat of relief. Smack in the middle of Minnesota's first settlements. Which happens to quaintly sit on the opposite bluff across from Historic Fort Snelling – a fortress of solitude resting like a sentinel on the glorious banks of the Mississippi River. The Lucky 13 even has some historic neighbors. Directly across from this "Speak Easy' sits the Historic Sibley House, and up the road one of Minnesota's first Catholic Churches (St. Peter's), as well.

Romantically, a cyclist can enjoy the rustic pleasure of riding on the short streets of Old Mendota to The Lucky 13. It is a blissful, oasis on many long expeditions. It even has a nifty outdoor patio that is mere feet from an excellent and extensive bike path. Dress code? No problem. They even let the G-Man get a table in his fancy new Lakemaid Beer Jersey. One look at this guy, and he commands BEER! Heck, our watron was more than happy to take our orders for cold frosty delight of the grain like kind.

One thing is for certain..."Thirst" shall be VALIDATED.

Jesse James Bike Tour - Cramp City, U.S.A.

2010-09-16T18:35:00.008-05:00

By Luxo-D

A 100 miles is a lot of miles to ride on a bike. Hell, they call it a CENTURY for a reason, and it sure as hell feels like it when you're doing it. Forever. Ironically, I did ride a 100 miles recently, and you were right – it's a lot miles to ride on a bike! But, I like to call it PURGATORY...

Jesse James Bike Tour
In the second week of September, a classic southern Minnesota festival, known as The Defeat of Jesse James Days, in Northfield Minnesota takes place. A celebration, commemorating the defeat of the infamous outlaw Jesse James, attempting one of his classic bank heists, only to be thwarted by the vigilant folks of Northfield. Additionally, The Jesse James Bike Tour, has turned into quite a bike riders event too. Indeed, 1300 bicycles by some count, taking pleasure in the ride. With the CENTURY ride being the pinnacle of the local tour. Accented by beautiful, meandering, corn fields, hills, and gentle flowing roads weaving through quaint small towns, as well as the great city of Faribault. A picture perfect setting – romantic in every sense.

The Monster within...
Don't be fooled by this charming, Laura Engals Wilder, midwestern charade of a bicycle tour! Quaint be damned! Within, lurks an unforeseen element hiding, insidiously like a siren that dogs and plays with your mind to the brink of madness...WIND. And plenty of it! I've ridden on some windy days...but holy SHIT! Talk about relentless, where did it come from? It was SICK! The worst part – it was gorgeous– a sunny, golden beauty, painting-like in essence. And boy, did I pay the price? Only the G-Man had the sense to ride the 60 instead of opting to do the Century. Ominously, after I arrived in Faribault (55 mile mark), I was done for. Hard riding turned into "Cramp City, U.S.A. It was ugly.

For the next 50 miles, I battled my own legs. The cramps jumped around like crazy, moving place to place, the hills making them worst. All the while the wind nagging and taunting me the whole way. It became a mental game. Me against the wind, my legs conspiring with the wind. I rode, great distances, isolated and alone on vast cornfield lined roads deep in a kind of Rural No Man's Heartland - a beautiful bleakness.

Luckily, the end was in site. After a scant rest stop in Lonsdale (80 mile mark), and cheerful visit from the G-Man, I was back to business. With 20 miles to go, it was the home stretch... Northfield was next...and so was civilization. It was over. A major bucket-list item completed.

So, now what's next...cyclocross?

A Dog In A Hat

2010-09-01T20:37:00.004-05:00

By Luxo-D

People have accused yours truly of not reading a single thing. Some people have even had the audacity to state that perhaps I am incapable of reading all together. Hog wash! I read plenty of cereal boxes! Okay...e-mail not so much. Obviously, there is some distortions going on. Indeed, the accusations are greatly exaggerated and the jury is still coming to a verdict on that matter. I for one, am confident that I shall be VINDICATED! Philistines!

Now... in the event, that it is proven with out a doubt, that I do in fact have the capacity and intellectual properties to make out words, diction, and sentence structure, in a way that is meaningful in interpreting a written thought – or at least beyond the the usual simian or ape-like way I typically do... then a great and meaningful conclusion can be made...

I dig this book "A Dog In A Hat" by Joe Parkin.

Really, I read it front to back, and it didn't even take me a whole Earth year. It's a really awesome book, about what it means to be a professional bicycle racer in the 1980's and early 90's. This is Parkin's personal account, as an American cyclist in Europe. He has an interesting and brutally detailed insight on the difficulties, successes and weirdness in the wild world of pro bike racing – with a very clever forward by Bob Roll too. This is a fast, fun and terrific read! If you love the intrigue of pro cycling - you'll love it. With plenty of thrills, spills, and pills!

I give this book a "Stroker Ace" in literary performance!

Hot Streets - Cool Commute

2010-08-14T18:16:00.005-05:00

By Luxo-D

Oh it's been HOT lately. Super Duper Hot. How does 98 degrees and 90 percent humidity feel to you, hmmm? Tad uncomfortable... perhaps? Maybe it would be great to bring that hot, sweaty, stinky, brackish body into work huh?

LET'S DO IT!

And why not, it's good to give the old Das Auto a break every once in awhile don't you think? You know, go easy on your own personal carbon footprint jazz and hubbub. And hey, it's not too shabby on the old sweat-soaked wallet too I might add. So that's the goal. Real simple, and with out too much thinking. Ride to work, one day a week at least, all Summer or as long as you can stand the weather. Pretty slick eh? One damn day...that's it. Give it to the HOT STREETS! Of course, if you want to do more...then ride your butt off like a... "Doped-Up, Transfusion Sucking, EPO Popping, Bike Crazy Mofo!

Hell yeah! That's what I do!

Except without the other stuff...and only once a week...and if I have clean shorts...when I feel like it...

Lou Reeds Books....call of the Lakemaid

2010-08-04T19:44:00.006-05:00

By Luxo-D

Hey folks, check out this fashion plate! Fancy-dancy no doubt about it. So where does a cool guy go to sport a hot NEW jersey like this? Connections my friends connections. But like the gonzo journalist I claim to be, I am also bound by the reporters oath – I will not divulge my sources. Just like the lore of Watergate past...you will never know this Deep Throat! Never! But one thing is certain, this "Kid" knows how to dig up the BIG story!

So...what do I get for this kind embedding, huh? Well...how about a super cool Lakemaid Beer jersey! Adorned of course, with the fresh water lovelies of Lakemaid Beer. Brewed in the GLORIOUS vats of Schell's Brewing Company, located in the wonderful town of New Ulm, Minnesota.

And what is a "Lakemaid," you may ask? Well you've heard of Mermaids right – you know, from the ocean? Well, Lakemaids are similar. But these sweethearts spawn from the good, wholesome sweetness of fresh water lakes! Many have said, "Hey Luxo-D – you ever seen a Lakemaid?" Good grief, what kind of question is that, I mean really? "Well duh...yeah maybe." Then they press further..."So Luxo-D, what's your favorite Lakemaid?" Gawd, the audacity is insulting. Of course I answer like the good Minnesota boy I am..."Miss Walleye, for cryin' out loud." Geez, the nerve. And by the way, for all those fisherman out there, keep casting them Rapala's, you never know when a Lakemaid might bite...

I give this jersey... a Stroker Ace Par Excellence!

Post Tour Blues, Schleck Bros and New Heights

2010-07-27T19:10:00.007-05:00

By Luxo-D

Well it's been a long month. The Tour de France has been my primary focus for quite some time. EPIC! A bounty of Conquest & Glory! Sadly, our FAVORITE cyclists, Luxembourger's - Andy & Frank Schleck of TEAM SAXO BANK did not win this year's tour – but they did their very best, and will win next year! Posting has not, hence the long absence in the usual golden tougue pros that are my signature treats that you have become accustumed to – misspelling, bad grammer, sentence fragments, and run on sentences, the usual.* Oh I miss you too.

But on to NEW heights and expectations! I for one, have not been idle on The Das Rad - no sir. In fact, up to this point, I would say it has been very productive to say the least. Certainly for many of us as well. There has been new gear, new routes cut, new goals achieved, and new riders to cycle with. Overall, I would assess this mid season check-in as very fruitful. I would expect a very good Fall as well!

Here is one of my goals checked off the bucket list. The Tour of Red Wing. This is an excellent hill climbing odyssey, which I highly recommend. A true climbers delight in one of Minnesota's most beautiful river cities. Located south of the Twin Cities, it is tucked generously in the bluffs along the Mississippi River. I love to soak in this ride with all it's riches it has to offer. The excellent climbs, winding roads, and beautiful tree-lined streets. Then, as a treat – the "Mighty Memorial Park Hill Climb," that ends with an AWESOME scenic vista of Red Wing, Minnesota!

Hey gang...it's the summer to savor.

GO RIDE!

* I'll fix the punctuation later...

Black Dog Run & Stillwater Odyssey

2010-06-22T20:34:00.007-05:00

By G-Man

Your favorite Luxembourg brothers were slammin’ the biking this weekend!

Saturday: 25 mile mountain biking ride on the trails from Old Mendota to the Black Dog Power Plant (Black Dog Run). Luxo-D and I were joined by my sister-in-law Karin and Luxo-D's neighbor, Roy. Fine river silt coated the trails in a number of places — making it difficult to bike through. I fell several times as I was getting used to riding new SPD pedals on my Bridgestone MB-2 — right into the powdery silty fluff. Luxo-D led most of the ride, including a blazing power thrust through a 30 foot long puddle of green algae, demonstrating his multi-dimensional skills at both road and MTB. We concluded our ride with a Egg Sandwich and a cup of joe at TK’s coffee in Lilydale’s Diamond Jim.

Sunday: As you know, Luxo-D and G-Man are building up miles for an end-of-the summer century ride. We put up a 60 mile ride on Sunday morning. Leaving Luxo's house at 7:30 a.m., we headed toward downtown St. Paul, where we picked up the Gateway Trail (at the intersection of Mississippi Blvd. and Cayuga, just on the edge of downtown). This is an absolutely beautiful trail that goes northeast toward Stillwater. We jumped off the trail at Manning and then road into Stillwater where we enjoyed a cup of coffee and a roll and saw the prepping for the Nature Valley Grand Prix. The new Cannondale Caad 9 was a delight to see in motion and the Orbea allowed the G-Man, in his rookie road season, to stay with the seasoned vet, Luxo-D. As part of this ride, we climbed the hills of Stillwater and ended the ride with the meat grinder -- Ohio Street Hill.

We ended Sunday with the news that Luxembourger Frank Schleck, riding for SaxoBank, won the Tour of Suisse, just on the heels of his 2nd place showing at the Tour of Luxembourg.

There it is, a weekend of...Fantasia!

Pearl Izumi P.R.O. Leader Series Jersey Review

2010-06-17T20:12:00.018-05:00

By Luxo-D

Everyone loves the sweet things in life. Right? You know, the good stuff, that makes you feel good, but not in a weird way. Well, have I got the goodness for YOU my friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™. Sweet Ambrosia...yeah I got some. Hell! I'm wearing it!

How does an awesome bike shirt feel to you? I know, I thought so...."Tenacious Awesome." Indeed, the kid here just got himself an incredible Pearl Izumi P.R.O Leader Series jersey recently... and I'm not afraid to say it – it is ATOMIC SILK!

I rode into work today, which was glorious I might add – and I couldn't believe it. This is probably the most, no not probably – it is the MOST comfortable bike shirt I have ever worn! And the best part – it is cut really well. Especially, if you want a little more form fitting. The sporty feel is trimmed just right, in the sleeves and neckline. I have a smaller frame, and this shirt was not baggy or too tight. Believe me, after the triathon bike stage I did this last weekend – there were more than a few dudes wearing parachutes for shirts. This shirt on the other hand... fits great.

My shirt is black with red accents, and it also has some very stylish reflector graphics to boot. Even the pocket on the back Zips too, which is definitely excellent. I can finally put some gear back there without it bouncing out, for a change.

This shirt gets my personal "Stroker-Ace Seal of Approval." It is truly...Von Excellent!

Team Sprockets™ News

2010-06-17T19:48:00.003-05:00

By Luxo-D

There's been a lot of chitter-chatter out there in the local Velo hinterlands lately. Lots of noise about who's doing what, who's getting what, who's going to do what... I'm worn out just thinking about it frankly. But the NEWS must be reported.

Like you, I love stories. Good stories. Stories with a purpose, a moral, and a thought that makes you take measure about where you are in the bigger scheme of things. I for one don't worry about my spelling and punctuation as an example. "I have to get out the NEWS man!" I'm gonzo dammit – no time to worry about that stuff...so deal with it. On the other hand, a good reporter will tell you important information YOU need to know in an interesting and riveting fashion. I do neither.

So here's some news:

• The Ginger Daddy just laid down a excellent time on the time-trial course known as the Lakeville Lolligag. 1:19:45. Very impressive, and bodacious for certain. Yours truly, plans to make an attempt in the near future.

• Luxo-D and The Stranger, just completed the bicycle stage on work-relay-teams for the HyVee Triathlon in Des Moines, Iowa. The Stranger, took third overall!

• There is a NEW 1000 Mile Man – Spud. He plans to ride a 1000 miles, with no strings attached. Hopefully, we'll see a new bike in his future.

• The G-Man continues to build his Ultimate Bicycle ARMADA. He has already acquired another Older Bridgestone Mountain Bike for his cabin.

• Two New bike courses has been forged: The Commuter Von Duper and the Cherry Hill-Eagan Commuter Loop. Give them a try!

• Yours truly, needs new road shoes, and bike computer. The search is on.

How about that...some news. Quaint indeed.

Tour of LaCrosse & the MONSTER Hill

2010-06-10T18:25:00.006-05:00

By Luxo-D

Who knows... what to expect when you ride outside your hometown. I don't know about you, but there is an unexplained confusion. In a way, a form of 'Cyclosis Delirium.' I for one had these thoughts recently, as I approached a town that I've been to many times before – but had not explored on two wheels. LaCrosse, Wisconsin. A city founded on the game, sorta, or beer. A classic mid-western river city – scenic and glorious, charming and quaint. The mighty Mississippi flowing through it's generous brew-master like veins. Even Mark Twain would relish riding it's awesome roads...if he weren't dead, or a 160 years late, or something.

Well I rode it! City streets, rambling roads, river boulevards, north, south, east and west. All the hell over dammit. 3 hours of solid scenic bliss! New shorts and everything. I was in a sublime state, glorious and satisfied, until... Mount DOOM!

A virtual mid-western Mount Ventoux before me – GRAND DAD BLUFF... I cried inside a little as I approached the entrance to the great bluff. Years ago, I had driven up the bluff, naive and childlike in memory, but had since forgotten it's length, steepness, and unending hellish curves to the top. I adjusted my shorts and, alas...I set forth workman like and with vinegar. Panicking slightly, unsure of it's length, I pressed on, not knowing if a BONK was imminent. Tenacious, I prosecuted this mofo with a capital 'T' for tenacity. Spinning relentlessly, I made my way up, never stopping, not even to wiz – perhaps blubbering a little, I remained committed to the assent...

CONQUEST & GLORY! I made it to the top! Hey where is everybody? The fans? The sweet ambrosia...?

Huh. Well I guess I'll ride down...

CAAD 9 – "Circus and Bread!"

2010-06-03T18:37:00.014-05:00

By Luxo-D

"Circus and Bread!" the crowd jeered before Caesar, "Circus and Bread!" So Caesar, the pragmatic and savvy ruler complied, knowing full well this would pacify the mob..."Indeed, you SHALL have it!"

So here – friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™... Awesome detailed pictures of the machine destined for... Conquest and Glory!

Enjoy.

The CANNON Has FIRED!

2010-06-03T06:16:00.004-05:00

By Luxo-D

IT'S HERE! The Cannondale Caad 9 SRAM Force/Rival. Smoking HOT and ready for action!

Three months in the waiting... three months in the wilderness... three months... of pestering anxiety... over. Oh sure, there have been plenty of questions, "Luxo-D, when are getting the NEW wheels?" "Luxo-D, is it here yet." And so on and so on. Well, as Orson Wells once said, "At Paul Mason...we'll sell no wine – before it's time." Profound, profound, I know... nothing to do with Super HOT Road bikes, but profound non the less.

Indeed, this last Memorial weekend was Epic. I was tormented by anticipation, in knowing there was a bi-pedaling jewel awaiting me. It's 'fire engine red' frame blazing the streets of my town and the upgraded Mavic Kyserium Elite wheelset igniting all my dreams of speed and triumph! Yet I made my way to the shop. Major Drool (aka. Chris the sales guy) was ready to unveil the 'majesty of awesome' on wheels. Magnificence I proclaimed at its revealing! And of course, what would be even better? And of course the 'PRO' fitting – making me one with this new dream machine.

Conquest and Glory!

My inaugural ride was as sweet as morning dew – even though it was late afternoon, with lots of street traffic, and it was kinda hot... Regardless, I was thrown into a pool ambrosia by a new way of riding. "Grease Ligtning," I declared! Fast, and faster I rode the CAAD 9, it's SRAM Force/Rival components responding like I never encountered in a bike before! But now a big test – Ohio Avenue Hill! I approached the massive hill, hesitant... what can I expect? Will there be disaster? Looming heavily as I made my way down Plato contemplating this assent. Nervous in tenacity – I attacked the hill! Unsure, of how to use this compact double, I remained calm, but rookie like. Digging all the way in...I completed my first glorious obstacle... the CAAD 9 is a success!

As I reflect now, appreciating this precision machine, a gift of craftsmanship really, American made, I'm proud to say... I recall, that Amish saying..."At Curtis Mathis television..." wait that's not it... hmm what's that old quality saying... hmm, thinking, thinking... It's something...

Anyway the NEW bike kicks ass!

Rox in a Box

2010-05-31T09:10:00.003-05:00

By Luxo-D

What's in the box?

Hmmm, wouldn't you like to know... Well it's bigger than a loaf of bread, and as light as one too. What could it be?

You're going to just have to wait. Tempting, tempting isn't it... a 'Pandora's Box' no doubt, of the most tempting kind... Ahh, the laborious wanting to know. An agony of sorts – like an itch that can never be scratched. The torture is complete and never ending, sublime in it's endurance.

But you'll see soon enough...

New Bike Stuff

2010-05-20T20:14:00.005-05:00

Luxo-D

Well there are lots of new bikes around the hood lately. Seems like you can't throw a rock around here without hitting somebody's new bike it seems. Good stuff too. The kinda stuff people take notice at. Jabber about stuff. You know, like that dude has some carbon, or that dude has awesome components, or hey...check out the new water bottle kind of stuff. Or, "Hey look at the chamois in my NEW Shorts..." Classic.

What ever the hec is going on... I like it. And keeping it going, I say. For instance, Scott (The Velo Fox) just got himself a HOT NEW carbon fiber Specialized Roubaix. Awesome. So in TEAM SPROCKETS™ tradition we demanded to see it LIVE. It was pretty sweet, and of course we went for a nice long bike ride to boot. Not a bad deal, I would say.

On another front, someone has some 'Fancy' New clothes! Now, if it weren't for my general disapproval I would be extra excited about the fashion show...but I'm a little irked tell you the truth. The 1000 Mile Man (G-Man) has bodaciously and provocatively selected what is supposed be the "TEAM SPROCKETS™ Championship Jersey" awarded at the end of year, as a casual – around town bike kit on a recent cycling outing. Has he earned it? Well, I certainly am a bit skeptical. I can think of a couple of other riders that would look pretty smart in The Pearl Izumi BLACK STAR Kit though...

In the end, what can I say...it's all-good.

The Horror, The Horror...

2010-05-11T18:42:00.005-05:00

By Luxo-D

It was a dark and stormy night, (seriously it was). The clock read 9:00 pm. What terrors await those, unsuspecting in the night...?

I pulled into the garage...with my bicycle still on top of my car.

"HAVOC!" I knew a hideous mistake had just unfolded! For me, I was engulfed by the nightmarish like cataclysm that just played me for a doofus.

Sadly, it was not a parent's best moment. I was returning with my son from a Boy Scout Troop meeting when the accident happened. Distracted by a riveting Jurassic Park 3 movie conversation, I was unprepared for what was just about to unfold. At the moment of infamy... I uttered a response, primitive in simplicity, definite in meaning. A word censored in most English dictionaries, but international in understanding, banned on network television. So innocent, so spontaneous, so natural..."FART!" Only it wasn't the word "fart."

At first thought, all is TOAST! I cried in my mind a tiny bit. But, after a desperate inspection of the carnage, I realized only the bike rack took the brunt of the mayhem. Sickly, the rail on top of the rack took the worst of it...bent like a holiday ribbon! Everything else seemed OKAY. To put my mind at ease, I took the Prized Bianchi to my local shop for an inspection promptly the next day. Luckily all was well. The boyz at the shop were sympathetic but oddly not surprised...

Alas...I sit, vanquished and defeated. My reward, a twisted metallic carcass that once was a bike rack. I ride on – tenacious and undeterred. Yet I know, nothing will be the same as I recover from this... "SHOCK and AWE" of an ordeal.

The Horror, The Horror....

The Power of the Stink

2010-05-04T19:31:00.003-05:00

By Luxo-D

There's been much talk about nutrition and diet enhancing formulas over the years. Now, I've heard all sorts of crazy mixtures, elixirs, pablums and concoctions out there that are supposed to prime the pumps before a ride. Unlike those, no one can deny, nothing beats good old fashioned old man energy. The kind that stinks. I mean REALLY stinks! The kind, your wife says..."What the hell is that smell?"

Behold...The AWESOME POWER of STINK!

Richly packed in metallic canned goodness. A bicyclists best friend – and constant companion, A good friend that always stays with you, through the good times and the bad... Sweet, tasty, vitamin packed, protein powered SARDINES! Ask any rider and they'll tell you, "It's the SUPER SNACK of Championship Racers!"

Yummy doo, now savor the flavor...

The "NAM" of Bike Buying

2010-04-26T20:30:00.009-05:00

By Luxo-D

Well I hate to say it...but it's starting all over again. A quagmire in the making, and all I can do is wait and hope another boy isn't taken down by the delusional madness known as the...

The "NAM" of Bike Buying.

But I doubt it. Look, I've seen this before, a lot of good boyz going down this sorry road with good intentions and all that mumbo-jumbo. But, they always come back pretty messed up.

And so it starts with a new recruit to TEAM SPROCKETS™ – Scott (who doesn't have a handle yet), is on his way to finding out, what 'NEW Bike Buying' is all about. Now comes the questions, the consultations, the recommendations, the opinions – about which bike to get and why. And just like that... a shroud ensues. A kind of perverse 'Apocalypse Now' of brand choices forms. Then the price anxiety begins to stir – only succumbing to a strange and exotic darkness of ambivalence, languishing self doubt, and pity... a VELO PURCHASING INSANITY.

Yet there is HOPE in the jungle of choices. A clarity seen, and heard. Indeed, a revelation found in the satisfaction of the purchase! The hunt is nearly complete..."Now the KILL!" The mission is almost over. Why, take the 1000 Mile as an example – coming out of the 'Shit' barely alive! A PURCHASE! And then another purchase, and finally another! Hell, check out the awesome Bridgestone MB-2 the dude got off of Craig's List!

Now we ride!

For the coffee.

Commuter Von Duper

2010-04-20T21:46:00.012-05:00

By Luxo-D

It might seem like any morning. Right? I got up thinking, well jerk... drive your sorry ass into work like all the other shmucks.

No way man! Get your gear on, and call the 1000 Mile Man...we're biking to work this morning!

Double shot of commuter action, that's what it is, oh yeah. Yours truly and the 1000 Mile Man dishin' it out. TEAM SPROCKETS™ style. Doing our part, takin' it to the man! Hell yeah!

But, as usual I had to wait, and wait some more, for the dude to show up. The G-Man can get a little pokey. But in his defense, I did drop the bomb on him this morning, with a little surprise phone call. And son of a gun, that 'mofo' answered the call! BLAMMO...we were off!

Originally, I was planning on riding the Le Tour this morning, but when the man showed up, I had to make an emergency switcheroo – that could answer the aggressive challenge to established protocol. Indeed, I ended up riding my Bianchi in order to match performance prestige of his gleaming new Orbea Onix/Ultegra road bike – that he so dutifully earned after his thousand-mile odyssey. Only, to be mocked by his HOT new Pearl Izumi road shoes!

Weather? What could be more graceful on this awesome commute than the humility of a pristine morning...Triumphant in GLORY. Talk about, perfect air temperature, a calming breeze, and a caressing sun. Ahhh, Sweet Georgia Brown....

Except for that impromptu pit stop at the porta-potty in Minnehaha Park. Whew, that was a close call.

Too much coffee...

Hypo-Hype!

2010-04-12T18:58:00.007-05:00

By Luxo-D

Well there's no going back now.

The flood gates are open, the purchases are being made, the dreams are hopeful, the goals have not been squashed, the jitter-jatter is engaged... there's no doubt about it, the bicycle season is FULL on.

As you know, I like to hype the good, the bad, and nasty of things in life. No matter how trivial, mundane, or nonsensical, I have been known to be a "MASTER of Spin." Indeed, the news can be crafted into any potent propaganda of sorts...as diabolical and deceptive as that may seem to you.

The Moment of Truth
The ultimate test of the fruits of my labor (or loins), I'm not shy to say, were set forth this last weekend. Project Stroker Ace...Engage! The Schwinn Super LeTour was given a full ride on a good part of the Giro Mendota. Now, I'm not going to give you some sycophant like pabulum description of this ride. It was Fantastic at best. Not sweet, not awesome. Just Fantastic. And that's that. I didn't expect anything less than a sweet ambrosia of a ride. It was as I expected. Some of you, I know will mock me at mere the mention of this. performance disappointment is something I've grown use to. I fully anticipated that. You're faith was weak to begin with. But I LOVED every minute of it!

There were moments glory too. The hills were better managed on the LeTour than I would have thought. And of course the comfort of ride wasn't too bad either. The speed was decent for a single speed. But most importantly, more so than any one thing was this... I was riding a boyhood prize possession! The acknowledgement of this fact, made me feel alive with nostalgia!

Gitty I pedal with delight into the sweet amber of dusk. I retire un-vanquished...for a change.

GAME ON!

2010-04-01T09:17:00.010-05:00

By Luxo-D

It's on girlfriends, it's on! The spring has sprung, and there's nothin' but FUN! So get out there and Run the Bun.

I'm not much on poetry, but the kid here knows how to link golden words into something, I don't know what but something. The game has started, and the TEAM SPROCKETS™ boyz are out there trying to live the dream. Who's on board, well we'll see. One thing is for certain, the COLORS are flying.

Spring, sweet Ambrosia. The G-Daddy (Ginger Daddy) and yours truly, gave it to the Classic Giro Mendota recently. There were some course modifications do to the Mississippi River Flooding over Lillydale Road, which lead to some changes in our typical approach to some classic hills. Overall, the adjustments were positive, and gave us new opportunities to approach downtown St. Paul from some different angles. In the final stages, we decided to pay a visit to one of our developing team members to examine a important acquisition, (more on that later).

If this was surfing instead of bicycling...I could have swore it was the perfect WAVE.

Project Stroker Ace...FINISHED!

2010-04-01T07:57:00.006-05:00

By Luxo-D

And it's...done.

Project Stroker Ace, the triumph and glory is now yours! And glorious it is. I know it took awhile, but it was worth it. Indeed, the 1978 Schwinn Super LeTour was resurrected from the ashes of hard times and tough love. But now the ACTION shall begin. I childhood memory remade for a new era.

Contrary to parochial thinking, many said..."Luxo-D you're cracked." "Luxo-D, you could have a new bike by now." "Luxo-D, you're stupid." Now I know, a person with of rational mind would never pursue such folly... but I never said it was "rational" did I?

El Dorado? Bull shit, I found It! Check out all the awesome stuff on this bike.

Thanks to all the folks that had the joy of working on and touching the RELIC known as the Schwinn LeTour. It wasn't easy with all the varying opinions and recommendations, but the completion now closes an Odyssey.

Ulysses...you are home.

Spring Feverish

2010-03-18T19:18:00.003-05:00

By Luxo-D

Who's a little edgy?

You know, a little agitated with anticipation of the beginning of bicycle season and all it's hubbub. Well this kid is more than just a little ornery I'll tell ya. In fact, if you didn't know me better; you might say that I was darn right cantankerous about the situation. You are.

Well gang, there's no use sugar-coating it for you. The spring season has arrived, and what have you got to show for it? Did you take care of business, or did you piss it away? For instance, is your bicycle in proper working order? Have you located all your gear and does it still fit? Did you squander your exercise regimen on the couch with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other locked on reruns of the "Facts of Life?"

Don't be ashamed, I feel your pain girl. I too am a... victim of vice. Oh sure, hockey helped out immensely. And of course, the torturous avoidance of that insidious and temptuous second helping at dinner helped some. But, like most of you, I thought I could get a handle on it before the big first spring ride launched itself...

Well forget it – I blew it too! Sap City, no doubt.

Okay, I know what you're thinking... no, no, no, on the contrary, my "Oprah Ideal Weight" is not in dire straights, and the pudginess I'd prefer to be without, will go away. Courage and brave tears. So, enough of this cryin' in our suds – it's time to put down the cookies and chips, kick some sorry ass and get REAL! We're in this together folks. Who's with me dammit?!

You know, to do stuff...

What can a guy get for 2G's?

2010-03-08T21:06:00.007-06:00

By Luxo-D

Well, I don't know about you, but this kid has been one busy mofo for the last two weeks. Sorry to say, I haven't had the quality time to indulge you with a certain form of pontificating indeed. Luckily, you didn't have to wait long. Certainly not. In fact, yours truly here has been proactive on keepin' an eye for some news, see what the hub-bub is all about, snooting out the facts, lookin' for some action so to speak, you know...seeing what's going on and shit, you know what I'm saying...?

Well I didn't find much.

However, not to disappoint, though I know you have been for quite some time – I did manage to "catch the bead" on some recent activity in the bicycle purchasing arena. Absolutely. Now I won't mention who, but let's just say there has been an extreme number of visits to bicycle shops, matched only by a droningly high number of online searching too. By...I might add, a couple of individuals – of sketchy and often theatrical decision making histories. Now, I'm not going to berate anyone publicly, or judge them, or resort to any slanderous accusations, or inappropriate name calling, But I will say, that this shopping style has taken on an almost obsessed and fanatical mindset in the most zealous of nature. I may even dare to say...a Buyers Lunacy! Now, as dangerous, perverted, and distorted as that may be to you...do not be shocked. There is after all a passion for bicycles here, no matter how warped you may think it is. The love of bicycling is clear.

In the end, what can one say about shopping? Basically it comes down to something as simple and clear as you can imagine. How much is it? How much am I willing to pay? So the question is put to you...

How much are you willing to spend on a good bicycle?

Nice Wheels!

2010-02-16T18:59:00.004-06:00

By Luxo-D

The 1000 Mile Man ticks me off!

Now I know I'm not supposed to be jealous, but dammit this guy is this throwing a monkey wrench in the well oiled machine known as TEAM SPROCKETS™. Just the other day I get a phone call out of the blue..."I'm coming down the street, get a camera." What! Get a camera? And just like that, before a guy can say what the fu.... "DING DONG," the door bell rings!

And just guess who's standing there at my front door, with all his fancy new gear and shit eating grin on his sarcastic puss...that's right...The 1000 Mile Man! And guess what the first thing that comes out of his yapper is...? "Hi dude...I'm going for a ride, check out my new shoes!" " Take a picture." Now...If I weren't just a little bit impressed, I'm certain I would have told the guy to get bent, but being the upstanding team leader, I decided to take the role of an encouraging and motivational leader and catered to the needy demands of one our overbearing team members. So I said "Okay." and obliged the demand with a couple of nonchalant snap shots.

Even though the impromptu encounter seemed a bit forced at first, I did feel the effort did warrant a certain amount of praise. Oh sure, his Pearl Izumi footwear, lobster gloves, and pants were clearly excellent by any standards. Hell, I wish I had some of that action too, but my god, the audacity, the megalomania of bravado was truly off the scale!

What could I say? Actually I thought..."You sick, glorious bastard. You've got the shit goin' on, no doubt, no doubt!" So I took the pictures, what else could I do.

I was later informed, that he put on 13 miles during his little lolligag around the hood. So I guess that means, he's just a little closer to a new bike. Which is great. Well so what, 1000 Mile Man...not everyone has a free Sunday afternoon to blow on bicycling!

But I wish we all did...

Bikes, Beer, and Sandwiches

2010-02-09T20:18:00.004-06:00

By Luxo-D

I walked in a bicycle shop last week...and it bummed me out...what can I say.

Actually, it was a secondary stop on an outing with The Stranger. The real purpose of the outing was to get beer. The Stranger was looking for a special collection of the good stuff. He found it at this unusual beer store in St. Louis Park, called the Four Ferkins or something like that. It's a weird little store that sells all kinds fancy beers that I know nothing about. Luckily, for my own sanity, I spotted TEAM SPROCKETS™ favorite beer on a shelf... "Lakemaid." It was a good thing too. I was pretty disorientated in there, with the multitude of beers from all over the world. But that beacon hope revealed itself and there she was...Excalibur...the "Lady of the box!"

As far as the secondary stop goes, it was a melancholy time for yours truly indeed. A salesperson asked me if I needed help looking for something. I said, "No, I'm just browsing, thank you." What I really was thinking is..."Look buddy, take your cool, super hot, rock n' roll road bikes and save it okay, this kid – is in no mood for wheeling and dealing, dig." Just spare me, all your techno mumbo jumbo about kick ass drive trains, carbon fiber, and what not okay. And while your add it, don't even, that's right, don't even bother toying with me... you know, toying with me about your awesome deals and service. Forget it...this sap doesn't pour!

After that, I decided to get a corned beef sandwich...which tasted good.

1000 Mile Man Hits The Road

2010-02-02T05:51:00.006-06:00

By Luxo-D

He said he was going to do it. I didn't believe him. But he went out and did it. The 1000 Mile Man breaks out of the shackles of winter and does the unthinkable...a WINTER RIDE. Now before we get all..."Oh my god!" or "I can't believe it!" or "That dirty bastard!" and stuff like that... riding outside in the middle of winter with snow covered streets and frigid temperatures is nothing...nothing dammit. Hell, The Stranger rides to work all year round... through some pretty narsty weather. Give me some news here man...sheee-it.

Here's why this is news...
There are three things that make this interesting and just barely interesting I might add: The 1000 Mile Man moves 5 miles closer to his NEW bike. He gets to test out some brand new Pearl Izumi cold weather gear, which is cool! And finally, he is the first TS member to go for a ride in 2010, much to all our chagrin! Now that's pretty impressive. Some of us, are still stuck on the trainer in the basement! Which totally blows...

So how was your ride Mr. hotshot 1000 Mile Man?
That was my jealous question to the man upon learning of his shenanigans last Sunday. Oh sure, he could have went skiing like normal people do? But no, he was out reap to some blood! The first thing he said after his ride was..."It was cold." Well no shit Sherlock it's winter! And then he said..."The streets were little icy." For crying out loud, who does this guy think he is!? Then he said... "I fell a couple times." I believe that, typical. And finally, he said – and this really kills me... "Other than that, it wasn't bad." Can you believe this guy... it's absolutely audacious, what ego!

You know, this guy kind of reminds me of that kid in the neighborhood that would hold onto a fire cracker really long... and then just barely let go of it in time, before for it blew up! That's The 1000 Mile Man.

He's "Wild Cat," you don't know what the HELL he's going to do!

Trainer Purgatory

2010-01-26T21:14:00.004-06:00

By Luxo-D

The agony, the tedious boring agony... Why, why, why... must you and I suffer so? When will this winter end? When will the sweet goodness of Spring give forth it's generous beauty of warm weather and clean roads? THE MADNESS, I CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE!

But no use crying about it...as I always say, eh hem or sing...from that classic Hollywood musical of yesteryear..."Who Knows, maybe now maybe not, maybe...tonight!" (West Side Story.) By the way, I don't cry myself...I was just making a point.

Look! I'm working my ass off here...blogging my ass off, trying to find some hopeful bicycling news to get people excited. Quite frankly, it's been a slow week. Geez. But there is one thing of note however, the 'Ultimate Gift Card' I so bodaciously bragged about a month ago was finally tapped. It's true. I just hustled my ass down to my local bike shop and Viola! Behold...a NEW CHROME Brand messenger bag! It is freaking AWESOME!

Cool, hell yeah. This TEAM SPROCKETS™ club member is most definitely prepared to 'haul some ass' with confidence no doubt. Uhh hmmm, that's right girlfriends, I said haul ass. That's right.. ass with an 'A.'

Or at least look like an ass...

Gear Up You Jokers!

2010-01-19T18:45:00.005-06:00

By Luxo-D

It's that time of the year again. The thoughts about how to prosecute this next season are creeping in the e-mails, phone calls, and chit-chat. They say, Luxo-D..."What should we do?" "Where should we ride?" "Which water bottle should I use?" Don't even get me started about conditioning. I for one, am determined to get a grip on this, before I find a whole lot of gossip going around that I'm a "Mr. Johnny Do-Nothing" team leader of TEAM SPROCKETS™.

What's going on?
This promises to be a breakthrough GEAR testing year for the team. Bikes, shirts, tires, wheels, drive-trains, and all in between. Heck, even our TEAM SPROCKETS™ uniform will need some additions too. I have some thoughts. Meanwhile, The 1000 Mile Man is looking forward to testing some HOT new Pearl Izumi bike gear (shoes, jersey, shorts) he got recently. I'm totally jealous too... that guy is such a poser.

And who isn't yappin' about taking their game to the next level? With what? New bikes of course. So far, The 1000 Mile Man is going to earn some extra miles by painting the kitchen cupboards. Major Drool is selling off some old wares to get a hot ride this spring. The Ginger Daddy is constantly on Craig's List snooping out a deal, The Immortal is working the discount bike sites for hot a generic, and The Stranger already got a sweet custom ride this fall! Who's next? Boy, talk about upgrades. What do I have... well I have "Project Stroker Ace." I know. But it's a temporary detour on the road to a super hot road bike this fall, that's all. You'll see... the ashes of Le Tour will fly like a Phoenix...or maybe a...wood duck?

New Year's Resolution...dream on Jimmy Dean!

2010-01-11T18:45:00.006-06:00

By Luxo-D

Promises, promises. I've heard it so many times. So what's the deal about making these "Declarations of Intent" when it comes to New Year's Resolutions? What's it going to get you anyway? Huh? Well wouldn't you like to know Jimmy Dean?

You may think I'm cynical, berating the the misguided need to change. Not so, not so. On the contrary, I'm quite in favor of change. Change, my friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™ is the great "Lone Charioteer" riding out onto that vast and vanquished frontier of mundane chaos we call... Life. Also known as "The Big Shitty." Uhh hmm, that's right girlfriend, I said the 'S' word.

No worries though, we can all Forge the NEW path to greatness. We just need to grab hold of something, god knows what, and just do our best. For instance, take this small sampling from our team. Look what they have committed to this year:

1000 Mile Man - Ride a 1000 miles and get a new bike.
The Ginger Daddy - Break the time barrier on The Lolligag
The Stranger - Be in the Top 10 of the metro cyclocross season
Spud - Get in shape and ride to Prior Lake
General Kusstard - Ride all of the metro mountain bike courses
The Immortal - Get the proper saddle adjustment right
Mickey-D - Ride more often. Period
Luxo -D - Ride the steepest hills of Stillwater

So you see, it's all quite doable and certainly well with in the norms and standards of everyday acceptance. Nothing lofty or unworthy of genuine effort. Just, good old fashioned commitment to hard work in hope of completion. With the simple tenacious trust in individual humility and accomplishment, worthy.... of our collective praise. Indeed...

Of course...unless they totally FAIL! Which would really suck whazoo and be incredibly embarrassing.

That's all.

It's COLD...Let's DANCE!

2010-01-04T21:48:00.006-06:00

By Luxo-D

Well it's colder than a you know what...in a you know what.

Uhh hmmm, that's right girlfriends, I'm sayin' it... it's cold here at TEAM SPROCKETS™ Headquarters, in beautiful Mendota Heights, Minnesota. -18 degrees cold is what. And that my friends of TS, makes it a little more challenging to build the courage to ride. Oh I know what you're saying..."Luxo-D...don't be a wuss." Okay fine, you called me a spade on that one, well so what, but then again there are alternatives... shall we say.

*Dance Man Dance
God knows I love riding the bike, anytime, anywhere...except Lakeville. But hey, sometimes a rock n' roll bike riding dude like yours truly has got to throw down the WHEELS and strap on the PLANKS! Dig! Oh sure it's tough times in the North Country when the weather gets a little narsty... it's winter for crying out loud. So what can we do? We put our chins up, or in this case, hands up, and dance the winter away with the warm goodness of a beer... or two... or three.

Then before you know it... Jimmy Dean all is well, and back on the saddle we go! Fresh and dandy, ready for the first springtime ride... Sweet Georgia Brown.

Good times, good times...

*I'm dancing with beer, after an awesome ski day at Alta, in Utah.

Look what I got for Christmas!

2009-12-27T13:39:00.004-06:00

By Luxo-D

Behold... the GIFT CARD...a piece of plastic ambrosia! Santa Claus, you are the MAN!

Oh sure, it may seem underwhelming at first, but the potential... endless, no doubt. Indeed, this little piece of gold from my local bike shop is nothing to sneeze at. Just look at...a hundred dollars worth of god knows what, for who knows when. SWEET GEORGIA BROWN!

So what should a nice guy like me, get with a piece of El Dorado like this.... hmmm.... thinking.... thinking.... hmmm.... thinking... socks, chamois cream?

So many choices, so much at stake!

What would you do with so much immense POWER in your HANDS?!

Lakeville Lolligag...The Nut-Cracker Sweet!

2009-12-15T18:41:00.010-06:00

By Luxo-D

There was a lot of talk this last season about the Lakeville Lolligag, who will do it, when, and at what time. It was supposed to be a litmus test on the quality of the rider. A CULLING if you will, of those worthy and those that are gutless.

Some brave souls made a credible job of it. Battled the Beast if you will. Yes indeed, some looked straight into the ZOMBIE Of DOOM and faced it head on...with Ma-GUSTO! Me? Well, I was kinda busy. But someone did...The Ginger Daddy!

*Hellfire Machine
The Lolligag, as it is known, coined and mapped by The Immortal himself, is a 30 mile endurance NUT-CRACKER, literally. I hate it, it sucks major whazoo. The long endless flats, compounded by long grueling hills, and wide open terrain...make the Lolligag something worthy of gagging. At one moment the weather can be a perfect bliss of Eldorado...still and majestic – the next...a blinding, windy, burning or freezing cyclone of Fantastic HELL itself!

So how long does this bastard take to do?
I'm not sure what is supposed to be a good time on this route. Maybe 1 hour and 25 minutes? Who knows. This wide open KILLER of HOPE changes minute by minute, day by day. Only The Ginger Daddy managed to make a test of it this season. Only he managed to place a measurable time that could be logged and discriminated. If he was out to earn a little street cred...he got it. I on the other hand, I had to do the laundry.

I know there are longer routes out there, maybe even more difficult...whatever, there's always something. But one thing is for sure the Lakeville Lolligag is no joy ride. So put on some extra chamois cream, adjust the seat, drink up, and pray for the end...cuz girl friend... there's none in site.

* "Hellfire Machine"...a "Thorny" bicyling gonzo mofo riding extraordinaire!

In da FUNK

2009-12-09T21:38:00.003-06:00

By Luxo-D

Kinda in a writers funk at the moment. Grasping, yearning, reaching out...groping... actually for some inspirational topic to write an article about. I've got the "flat tire writers blues" dudes.

So here's my blather
The 1000 Mile Man wants me to make some gift suggestions for Christmas. You know like... this guy should get that and that gal should get this...but I haven't got it in me. Maybe next week, when it really gets down to the wire on the shopping desperation – kinda when it turns into a "Christmas China Syndrome!" But right now, it's just diggin' out of the snow storm that just hit us. No bicycling for this kid. Just the dumb bike-trainer spinning to Nowheresville. So there you go, it's been a partially lousy week. Put me on your Naughty List why don't you Santa, maybe I'll put you on mine.

I'm not going to even proof read this article, so there...hrumpf, stupid snow covered roads.

What will be in your Bicycle Stocking?

2009-11-30T21:21:00.009-06:00

By Luxo-D

Well it's that time of the season isn't it? Who will make Santa's bicycling naughty and nice list...hmmm? Now there's a trick, ha. And just what is to be expected of the lot at TEAM SPROCKETS™ anyway? Oh sure there are a few upstanding cases out there. And sure there are a couple of brown nosing goodie-two-shoes too. But what about the rest of the bad apples? Will it be sugar plum goodness in your road shoes, or will it be a old fashioned ROCK in the Giro HELMET! Ahh...only Good St. Nicholas knows who's been "Mister Good Bar" or who's been "Johny Rotten." Indeed, I know who's been what, ...The 1000 Mile Man, Ginger Daddy, The Immortal, Micky-D, The Stranger, Little Debbie Snack Cake, General Kusstard, and all the rest of you...YOU know who you are. What kind of Shenanigans have you've been up to this year?

Fortunately, I don't have to explain myself. No sir. Santa knows how much of a sweet and wonderful Stroker Ace dude I've been. In fact, I talked to Santa personally, yep and he said so. Uhh hmmm, tellin' like it is girlfriends. He said...now listen to this...he said, "Luxo-D, you've been AWESOME!" "Especially, the hill climbing." "Look what you might get in your bicycle stocking...."

• Pearl Izumi Elite Wind Jacket or Bib shorts
• New Giro Bike Helmet
• Team SAXO Bank Jersey (Luxembourg National Jersey)
• Mavic Clincher Wheelset
• Yakima bike rack rail with lock
• Chrome Bicycle Back Pack
• 10 pack of GU race fuel (vanilla bean)
• $50 Gift Certificate to your favorite bike shop
• TEAM SPROCKETS™ Jacket with matching cap
• Cannondale Road Cad 9 with SRAM Rival
or Binachi Road Infinto with 2010 Ultegra
or Trek XO1 Cyclocross Bike

WOW! This is most definitely the "Suite Life of Zak & Coty" no doubt!

Then I woke up in the bike shop with some guy saying to me mockingly..."You again?" "Ha, still trying to restore that old Schwinn from 1978?"

Urban Velo...SPROCKETS STYLE

2009-11-22T19:18:00.023-06:00

By Luxo-D

"Urban Velo." What is it anyway? Mod bikes, tight black jeans, funky backpacks? All I know is what I've seen...a culture on to itself. But I'm not going to try to understand that. One thing is for certain...TEAM SPROCKETS™ redefined Urban Velo in it's own way this weekend.

Urban riding in my opinion is more than just hitting the streets, dodging cars, cops, and cats. My friends of TS, there's much more. For us, it was good times, and great weather – perfect for sneaking into the gritty under-belly of the beast.

The TS Posse made it's sweet way through Lillydale, then slowly making our way through Old Mendota, alas when least expected...we ATTACKED the Mississippi River Flats! DANGER BE THY NAME! It was yours truly and the 1000 Mile Man, forging a NEW and yet to be named course. It was sweet poser ambrosia, no doubt! We cruised manically down through the forbidden and mysterious roads underneath Interstate 494. It wasn't hades...but close. It was GLORIOUS!

Finally, we made a rendezvous with the Ginger Daddy, who was out for a classic TEAM SPROCKETS™ road ride on the other side of the Mississippi River. For nostalgia, I took out the old Bridgestone MB-6 – my weapon of choice into urban jungle. The 1000 Mile Man even got a little closer to his ultimate mileage goal and his soon to be NEW cyclocross bike. The Ginger Daddy...well hec...let's face it; he just looked plain SHARP, nuff said, say no more.

In the end...it was all about the pictures.

Project STROKER ACE!

2009-11-14T07:20:00.013-06:00

By Luxo-D

Friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™, the "Secret Restoration Project" now has an official name. This endeavor from now on... shall be called..."PROJECT STROKER ACE!" Ah Ha, remember the 1978 Schwinn LeTour fix up job? Geez, funny how quickly you forget. Check it out girlfriend. Uhh hmm, it's finished. Sweet Georgia Brown, right? It wasn't easy, but I painted it up awesome and stuff and added sweet decals too.

That's right, the phrase was spawned recently during a visit to one of my local bike shops to obtain an estimate for assembly. The now infamous moniker was coined by none other than Major Drool on voice mail call back. Of course, this hot-shot also happens to be an awesome bike salesman. He could sell Lance Armstrong a 1978 Huffy Thunder Road for the next tour. Not me though, I'm an Exceptional Value Man!

Indeed, the secret project is in the final stages...or is it? It took a reluctant turn this week. As you know, I have made a delusional commitment to finish it. No expenses spared eh hem...? Let's face it; parts and labor are the KILLER of Hope, and the Concubine to Despair. It's not rational. So what can you do? For the moment, I shall... remain vigilant but cautious with stupidity.

Meanwhile... Major Drool, the savvy carpetbagger, taunts me with a GLORIOUS expensive machine – The Cannondale Synapse 3 All Carbon/2010 Ultegra! ART ON WHEELS... It is thee dream bike, literately, and a pretty penny too! "STOP MAJOR DROOL, I must complete the secret restoration project!" But, like the good sugar daddy he is, with his fancy heroin on wheels, he says to me..."Luxo-D you don't have to finish Project STROKER ACE...I got the good stuff right here." Dang he's good.

“Can I get that on layaway with 90 days interest free?”

Lunky

2009-11-09T21:56:00.008-06:00

By Luxo-D

Now I know luck is a funny thing. Everyone wants it. Why not, it's lucky. It's kind of magical. You know like, winning something or getting something you didn't expect, maybe an extra napkin in your Micky-D value meal. But, what about being unlucky? Nobody wants that. It sucks right? Sometimes, it seems like it happens to some people more than others. How come? Anytime it happens... you say something like..."crap, how come I'm so unlucky?" " Geez, that blows."

Here's something to contemplate... what do you call being lucky and unlucky at the same time? I don't think anyone knows for sure, but I call it...LUNKY. Neither, lucky or unlucky, sort of a wash out situation, or balancing between crap and okay. That's what I got this last Saturday... lunky drama. It all started fine and dandy with a beautiful ride on the southern part of the GIRO MENDOTA. The temp was a pleasant 58 degrees, light breeze, sunny, few clouds, exceptional weather really for November in Minnesota. I was dressed in my best TEAM SPROCKETS™ kit, with some cool weather accessories to boot. I was hoping to ride with the Ginger Daddy, but he's kinda busy at the moment with a new kid, so I went Café Solo. Friends of Team Sprockets, it was... perfect, absolutely perfect... but before I knew it, before bliss turned to ambrosia... POP! "WHAT THE F...." I popped the back tire. Nuts!

Ahh haaa, not so fast Harpy of Disappointment...what the hell is that right in front of me? Hmm Von Schlaunegar? Only just your neighborhood BIKE SHOP, that's all! And roll on in I did. A little plastic credit love out of my wallet and few simple instructions...and blama lama ding dong – fixed up in a jiffy, and back on the road I GO. Sweet Georgia Brown!

So I says to me self..."Luxo-D lad, you are one... LUNKY dude."

Be the way, what's verdict on the legs...shave or no shave? I can't decide, what do you think?

Me Winter Knoggin' N' Stuff

2009-10-30T17:40:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

Winter is closing in fast on the sorry arses at TEAM SPROCKETS™, no doubt. But fortunately, for most of us rock n' roll cyclist with a dream, we don't have to leave our passion for the road too far behind. The other day, minding my own damn business, I was scrounging about in the mud-room closet, looking for god knows what, for who knows when...when all of a sudden...I came upon a GLORIOUS piece of equipment of another recreation of equal passion and greatness! And just what in *tarnation gad dag nabitt...was it, that stoked me up so crazy!?

Ahh haa, my awesome 1999 Boeri Downhill Ski helmet! Excelsior!

Now I know downhill skiing is not cycling...geez. Gawd, get your own tots. But there are similarities. Like, beer, women, and cool helmets. You know, because you drink beer after you bike or ski, and when you go cycling you're supposed to wear a helmet...and women ride bikes, ski and drink beer sometimes too.

But hey, look at this RIGHTEOUS MOFO helmet! Who says you can't have it all? Huh?

L'OREAL...Because YOU'RE worth it.

*(old people say this stuff...I think it's their version of swearing). I'm pretty sure I've never heard a elderly person over 75 say "mofo."

Just a Sentimental Sap

2009-10-22T06:25:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

I'm not going to lie to you, I was pretty cocky last week. Being all big-shot and stuff with the "Secret Restoration Project." Parading my glorious endeavor around like some major award and conjuring up names of celebrity and fame too. I guess Mister Johnny Hot-Shot paid an emotional price didn't I? And this bill, add an extra tax of tears...uhh hmmm.

The Fever

Much to my chagrin... I seem to have fallen prey to a kind of "Sentimental Flu." Yes sickly, it was sad to say goodbye, to the old Schwinn Le Tour paint job – classic in its 1978 skin no doubt. Did I lament a little? Yes. Did I blubber about it? Maybe... Indeed, after spending considerable time sanding and cleaning the frame of my prized object of youth...I took heart at what was now absent. Gone were the vintage decals and graphics that still, even now, burn an image in my mind... of pristine, innocent GLORY of the PRIZE I WON! So now... there is nothing left, but the crying...

My restoration Odyssey forges on. Despite the berating of some of my fellow TEAM SPROCKETS™ members, and a couple of the guys at my local bike shop..."You're a FOOL Luxo-D, a stupid delusional FOOL, chasing a Fool's Quest" they said...

Oh really? Was it is foolish, when Ricky Martin left Menudo to go... Café SOLO? Livin' La Vida Loca...

I remain tenacious.

Cyclo-Confusion & Restoration

2009-10-15T06:38:00.007-05:00

By Luxo-D

Cyclocross...fascinates the hell out me. It has everything I think I've been looking for. Truly, it's what everyone is talking about, but is it just the season, or is there something more insidious here?

To me, cyclocross comes across as the equivalent of cross-country running, only on bicycles. It has it all, woods, grassy fields, gravel paths, little streams and barriers to dismount and jump over, all on a road bike with knobby tires. So what crazy mofo came up with the idea of cycling on something other than paved road...

The Dilemma
This may not be a surprise, but I've been keen on a super-hot road bike for quite some time. With the good stuff too, the pretty penny kind. Fancy-Schmancy. You know...a poser bike. But, cyclocross has been a bee in my Giro Helmet Bonnet. I want a cyclocross bike bad, but this Kid has got to keep his priorities in order. To make matters worse, my wife recently said, "You can get an inexpensive cyclocross bike if you want." What!? I don't know if she is just saying that because she got a new computer recently or what. All I know, is this dude does not want to get rooked out of his ultimate goal...by some tramp cyclocross bike today.

My Secret Project
"Ahh Ha" you might say. The band-aid solution...a modified 1978 Schwinn LeTour! Yes, I won this bike at Penn Cycle in Richfield, Minnesota as a youth, and I still have it! So now, after a few major modifications and so forth, this might be my sorry ass Ticket To RIDE. Indeed with a little TLC and small investment in a NEW paint job, I may be racing before you can say..."Luxo-D you're an idiot." The Stranger thinks it's crazy. He even said "F" that shit, you're crazy...don't even waste your time on that F-ing shit."

Was it crazy, when Pat Sajack briefly had a talk show... let the "Wheel of Fortune" be my Schwinn!

Riding the LOOP with Kenwood Racing

2009-10-09T06:34:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

How does a sweet lunch time ride on The Hopkins Loop sound? Gooood times I say. Seriously, you could not have asked for better weather than this last Wednesday. It was truly CRANTASTIC! And what could be better, than riding with a couple of hot-shots (The Stranger and Thorny) from KENWOOD RACING. TEAM SPROCKETS™ did just that!

These two teams were not out to set any records, race, score, or any of that stuff. Just ride the LOOP in a lunchtime hour. That's it, and we did. Ironically, the only challenge of the day, came from the swank hot-orange threads of the KENWOOD riding jackets – versus the righteous red, white and blue of TEAM SPROCKETS™. You make the call who won.

I may be a sentimental sap, but this was the real deal. The day was perfect for riding, yapping, and laughing. And the boyz of KENWOOD RACING had plenty to say.

Friends of TS....this was the EL DORADO of a bicycle relaxation, no doubt.

Team Sprockets Meal of Champions

2009-10-04T18:10:00.013-05:00

By Luxo-D

If Julia Child were a cyclist, I'd say..."holy shit, really, I didn't know she rode a bike?" Ironically, one thing is for sure, that woman knew a hell of a lot about eating a good satisfying meal. For bicycling – there is nothing like a delicious post ride meal.

Bike Diet Dilemma
Now I know, there are plenty of diet methods out there in the bicycling gastronomic landscape. Strange theories, concoctions, mixtures, and combinations of nutrients that are supposed to do this and that, with a little dash of EPO for flavor booster. Forget that exercise diet pabulum, I for one, like the simpler things.

The Main Course of Champions
I'm no Dietician, hell, and not even a foodie for crying out loud. I'm just a cyclist that enjoys a good simple meal, with minimum work or fuss. It's doesn't have to be fancy...just sweet simple ambrosia that's all. Here's The TEAM SPROCKETS recipe for success:

Spaghetti with Marinara sauce
Spinach Uncooked
Almonds
Cherry Tomatoes
Olives
Prosciutto
French bread
Red grapes
Three different cheeses
Glass of water
Delicious full bodied cabernet from California.
* One plate only, no second helpings okay. You Got that, 1000 Mile Man.

Savor the Flavor
Friends of TS – this meal has everything the cyclist needs for a successful body conditioning diet regiment. Carbohydrates, proteins, vitamins, antioxidants....roughage. All smacked-up and guaranteed to generate righteous fuel for many glorious hours out on the Das Rad.

Bon Appetite...indeed.

Hey BAG BOY whatta ya got there?

2009-09-25T17:27:00.014-05:00

By Luxo-D

Check out the NEW bike back pack that the 1000 Mile Man just got. Friends of TS, this guy has got the bike commuting action going on, big time. And why not, he's on the verge of making a record...500 miles. So how does a dude like this treat himself...how about a super sharp classic CHROME Bike messenger bag! And look like cool ass player on top of it. That's what I say.

Look at me...I got stuff going on!
This bike bag has definitely got the look! It reeks of I MEAN BID-NESS. Sleek black fabric trim, double latch straps, old style seat-belt car buckle shoulder sling, accented with a gorgeous swank CHROME logo. This bag is literally the Cat's Pajamas in hauling your gear to town and back. Plus...it's water proof to boot – perfect for a laptop computer, a dry sack lunch, an a sweet bottle of Sunny Delight. Uhhh hmmmm, just tellin' it like it is girlfriends.

This bag brings out The MANIMAL in carrying stuff!

On a bike.

Take it to the River

2009-09-22T06:21:00.006-05:00

By Luxo-D

Check out Mendota Heights hot bicycling couple givin' some business to the Mississippi-Minnesota River bottoms recently. There is know doubt, this TS Dynamic Duo is out to burn down some miles, talk the talk, and have an adventure to boot. TEAM SPROCKETS™ STYLE!

Mud, Poison Ivy, Weirdos?
Who cares, this isn't a fashion show. Yuppies and couch-potatoes of the world...don't bother to get dressed and keep your chai mocha double lattes at the coffee shop – This TEAM SPROCKETS™ couple is out for some fast river trail blood, sweat, and tears. Whatever the river has to offer...they won't be denied.

Next Stop?
Well... let's just say, these two have more than one magic trick up their sleeves...but only the ROAD will tell...

The hills are alive with the sound of CRYING

2009-08-25T07:07:00.004-05:00

By Luxo-D

Hills. Fear. Agony. Glory. Life.

Cycling...in my opinion, is defined by...the HILL. The hill brings hubris, fear, strength, doubt, and clarity to bicycling. Clearly, riding up a hill is a challenge. The difficultly is always sobering. Indeed, there is a profound satisfaction at the completion. Anticipation of finally getting over top offers a perverted relief, pure and simple. Obviously, riding up multiple hills is daunting. Riding up steep hills is truly awful. Riding up multiple, steep hills is...EPIC.

EPIC...Memorial Park Hill (Red Wing, Minnesota)
Making a run on the hills of Red Wing had been a TS goal all summer. The gauntlet had been thrown down and the Fait Accompli was set. Nestled in the bluffs of the Mississippi River overlooking this mid-western city, I scouted a course worthy of the challenge. As I set out on the grueling, multi steep hill challenge, I realized only too late, that it was much more difficult than I had imagined. After many already steep hills, one last hill in particular, tormented me to the brink. This was by far the most difficult hill I have climbed to date – Memorial Park Hill. This is the kind of hill that CRACKS a cyclist, with its steep, unending, winding approach to the top. Basically...KILLER HILL. It is not for flat lovers. Fortunately, a beautiful scenic overlook of the City of Red Wing and the Mississippi River awaits the rider at the top. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn I saw a skeleton of previous cyclist in a crevasse up the side of the hill.

The hill is the EQUALIZER
Doing hills often, and many, seems to be the key to success. Mentally and physically, it awakens the rider. Indeed, I relish these opportunities every time I set out on a ride. In a way, there seems to be a mythic adventure riding hills. Although riding the flats has its own rewards I guess...I for one live for the hills. Believe it or not, in our own back yard, The Giro Mendota offers tons of incredibly difficult hills to conquer. I have counted at least ten significant hills, three of which are very difficult, and one being extremely nasty.

There is no doubt that memories are made in the agony of steep hills, and just like the challenge goes in The Sound of Music, "Climb Every Mountain" is truer than you think.

Rockin' da Murph with The Mickey-D

2009-08-19T19:22:00.012-05:00

By Luxo-D

I'll have the Quarter Pounder with Cheese Extra Value Meal please, thank you very much. Yes sir, that's what Murphy Hanrehan asked for the other night. Full service is what it got. Throw in a large chocolate shake too, why don't ya. The TS boys are in the store.

Micky-D and I gave it to the Murph big time. And was there cryin'? Oh sure, but only the trail felt it this time. My friends, this was an Official TEAM SPROCKETS™ mountain bike outing...no doubt. The weather was outstanding, and the trail conditions were sweet like McFlurry!

Now, it's been awhile since Mickey-D has been to Murphy Hanrehan. The course, was actually on the other side of the park last time he rode it, which is a long time ago now. Much to his surprise, and delight, he was quite impressed with the changes. Even without the MONSTER hill that used to be on the other side, the single track was delicious.

Now we weren't out to set any records or be any hero's, but we came to play. Albeit, with caution. The Stranger had informed me...the previous week, a mutual friend of ours, hauled some ass at the Murph and ended up crashing. Unfortunately, a visit to the emergency room and a face full of stitches were his bill of charge. Knowing this, I notched down the pace a little bit so Mickey-D could acclimate to the new scenery. After hitting a couple trees, falling off the trail once, and tightening up a loose wheel...this Jim-Dandy was ready to go for round two. Next time...the gauntlet shall be thrown down, no doubt, no doubt.

I give this rider, the "MANIMAL AWARD", for tenacious tenacity effort!

Nothin', I've got nothin'

2009-08-11T21:08:00.004-05:00

By Luxo-D

Wiped out last week. Scraped my butt. Wrist still hurts.

Had to go out of town for the weekend. Weather pretty much sucked...kinda like NAM.

The Bianchi was in the shop...with a bent derailleur. Picked it up tonight, but couldn't ride...cause I had to mow the stupid lawn. Ran out of gas too.

That's about it.

Hills, Calories, and Road Rash

2009-08-05T19:08:00.007-05:00

By Luxo-D

Hills, and more hills.

What can you do? So many good ones too. Ohio, Ramsey, The High Bridge, Hwy. 13 through Old Mendota. But, it takes tenacity to keep it going. Tenacious tenacity, and the LUST to keep the motivation to the cause. That's the way it's been lately on the Giro Mendota.

Personally, it has been taxing mentally, for all of TEAM SPROCKETS™ really. The Ginger Daddy, has sore back now to boot. But overall, the fitness benefits has certainly payed off...no doubt. The Imortal recently gave Ramsey Hill a good go. In the blurry photo he can be seen chasing another rider up Ramsey Hill in downtown St. Paul.

Calories
Recently, I went on the LIVESTRONG® website looking for some news, (post Tour de France), and came across some info on calories. I shouldn't obsess, but this hooked me man. Basically, I've been counting and tracking my daily calorie intake. Why? To loose weight superfically. I'm pretty lean already, but I was curious on how to loose a pound a week. I have some coworkers that have indulged me with this. But, now I'm kinda done with it...or am I.

Road Rash...my Butt!
The Stranger and I hit the road over lunch this Wednesday. Unfortunately, The Hopkins Loop took a bite out of my butt today...most regrettably. Sure, every biker gets a little spill now and then, it's part of the game man. This one was more annoying than anything. It was your "Classic" touch the back wheel of the other guys bike scenario. A passing situation gone awry. BOOM...down on me BUM! Luckily, we were not going fast. The result...I've got a nice blush on my left cheek. *Photo not possible.

Ride clean and Stroker ACE.

Schleck Brothers and Then Some

2009-07-25T13:16:00.010-05:00

By Luxo-D

It's been a challenge to write an article lately. So many things, where do I start...riding into work, riding with family & friends, the new team kits, new road courses, equipment upgrades, and many more.

Ride when they Ride
Most noteworthy, was the personal goal to ride every day "The Tour Boys" ride. Specifically, to ride a stage (in essence only) similar to what they rode. I challenged my fellow TEAM SPROCKETS™ members to do the same. So far, it has been an enormous success. The riding these last three weeks has been EPIC. Indeed, the Giro Mendota and the Lakeville Lolligag have been given a full workout.

Tour de FORCE
The Tour de France this year has been excellent! Intrigue between Lance and Contador. The Soap Opera between Thor and Cavendish. The disrespect of Sastre. And of course the homely courage of Wiggens. But others made a more important contribution...uhh hmmmm.

The Brother's Schleck with a sweet touch of Fabian
This has been a proud moment for Luxembourg and for TEAM SPROCKETS™ too no doubt. After all, this club gets much of its inspiration from the boys of SAXO BANK. Even though it would have been awesome to have the other two Luxembourgian Devils (Andy & Frank) to be on the podium together – all of them have ridden magnificently!

Salut!

The Official TEAM SPROCKETS Kits!

2009-07-16T18:24:00.012-05:00

By Luxo-D

It's official, the TEAM SPROCKETS™ Kit is here! Clearly panache is the flavor of the season.

From drawing board to computer...now a reality. The TS Kit"...is EPIC! After many concepts, the fruit is ready to be savored. Yes, it took hard sweat. Perhaps even more sweat than "The Immortal" pours out every time he rides, which is a lot. As you can see from his happy grin...he's loving every minute of it...his jersey that is!

Luxembourgian ORIGINS
Make NO mistake...this team draws its strength from a special place...Luxembourg – POWER HOUSE to the cycling world! Not coincidently, yours truly has heritage that country of which there is much pride. And of course, what would a KIT be without a tribute to that dynamic bicycling duo from Luxembourg, (The Schleck Brothers - Andy and Frank). Clearly, this soon to be 'classic' kit finds its lineage riding down that vein, with graphic accents paying homage to the Luxembourgian DEVILS from SAXO BANK.

It's SHOW Time
No more hiding behind pretentious themed or wanna be team jerseys of tours and stars long past. No Sir, TEAM SPROCKETS™ is its own brand, has its own legends to make. So look for it! The Giro Mendota, Lakeville Lolligag and The Tour of 10 Hills will have some new scenery this summer.

Friends of TEAM SPROCKETS™ ...these kits get a...Stroker ACE... seal of APPROVAL!

4th of July...Hayward Style

2009-07-08T22:12:00.004-05:00

By Luxo-D

Good times with family and friends. Nothing is better than celebrating our Nation's Birthday with a great ride on the trail. This was TEAM SPROCKETS™ family style!

This 4th of July was spent in Hayward, Wisconsin – at the world famous Duper Cabin. It's a wonderful place nestled privately on one of the many beautiful bays of the Chippewa Flowage. And of course, what is Hayward known for besides the Birky Trail, the World's Biggest Muskie, and a pretty famous BBQ Joint...how about the most excellent mountain biking clusters the mid-west has to offer...that's all.

Hatchery Creek and Mosquito Brook...was all the action. This was a chance for "yours truly" to introduce some new riders (Old and Young) to the AWESOME GLORY of mountain biking! And boy did they take to it! Riding the trails like down hill skiers and soaking in the perfect morning weather, the dial was set for fun. Now it wasn't all bliss, there were plenty of frustrating equipment problems, exhausting moments, and a couple of tantrums. But everyone made it through with a smile. Even The Duper put a hurt on the trail–which bit him back, as the trail can sometimes do. His new arm wound (miner scratch) is called – The RAT.

This 4th of July bike ride was Bombs Bursting With Joy!

Duper's QUEST!

2009-06-23T20:50:00.007-05:00

By Luxo-D

Every once in a great while we come across uncommon individuals with a single dream. A focus on a goal with a clear benefit at the end. Tenacious individuals. Animal like individuals. Inhuman individuals warped and perverted to a single minded ENDEAVER! No compromises, no conditions, just a purpose and that's all. We tip our hats to those and their QUEST, despite difficult odds and mockery that lay ahead. SALUT!

The DUPER'S DREAM
I think of Wild-Cats, untamed beasts that in this case like to talk a lot and kind of drive you crazy. But, you've got to hand it to the guy...he means what he says, and does what he says. Though that is not always true, it seems to be in this case. His goal...is to ride
"One Thousand Bicycle Miles." It's the same as regular miles by the way – just seemingly more impressive. Impressive, indeed!

Why a 1000 miles?
So he can get a NEW bike. Yeah that's it!

Why would you ride a 1000 miles just to get a bike?
Cause.

Not for health reasons?
No. Hmm, well maybe a little. You know so he can feel like he EARNED it. The Duper wants to "do the time," so he can "pay the crime," or something like that. Good luck Duper!

To SHAVE or not to SHAVE?

2009-06-16T18:00:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Ahh, the mystery of bicyclist all over the world.
To SHAVE or not to SHAVE.? What to do as a bicyclist, with a tradition of questionable implications and method no doubt.

Look...that guy's doing it...and he's a PRO!
Now I've seen some things, and I have my concerns. But one thing is for certain, a person, particularly a man needs to be comfortable with the ramifications of committing to such an endeavor. Woman of TEAM SPROCKETS, do not have to worry about such things...they're experts, and need no proving of acceptance in the shackled norms of society. Unlike us gents, we are victims...victims, of malicious chastising and mockery of society. We, regrettably... better have a hell-of- a good reason to pursue the ritual of..BICYCLING LEG SHAVING. Now I hate to point out the professional double standard here when it comes to us amateurs, but all of those PRO Boys at the Nature Valley Grand Prix seemed to have it figured out. Every dog gone one of them. Clean as a whistle and loving it. Why?

RIP IT KID!
Now I've heard that mumbo-jumbo myth about aerodynamics and so forth. However, I've read on the other hand, that that notion is institutional hog-wash pabulum. WOUNDS...yes, bloody, tacky hair infused wounds, on the other...are a very REAL issue. Any dude that has had the triumpherant glory of pulling a bandage off a hairy leg would CRY for something better! Quickening the first-aid treatment seems to be the only TRUE measurable benefit to the theory. As you know, yours truly here (Luxo-D), has had his share of leg wounds. I proudly, like to name mine after critters..such as "The Badger," "The Weasel," and of course my all time favorite..."The Wolverine."

Should TEAM SPROCKETS shave?
So there we have it...a complicated question indeed. Women of TEAM SPOCKETS already know the answer. MEN? The best advice I can give as team leader of this club is simply...

Shave Your Conscience.

Checkin' out the Nature Valley Grand Prix

2009-06-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

A night at the races...sweet treat no doubt.

Well I checked out the Downtown St. Paul Criterium of the Nature Valley Grand Prix this Wednesday evening. It was a TOTAL JOY, and it didn't cost me a dime! We live in a wonderful place, when you can see professional bike racing 5 minutes from your house. This, my friends of TEAM SPROCKETS was an..."Exceptional Value."

The Real Deal...Floyd Landis
There I was inches away from a Legend. Son of a Gun...huh...he's standing right there, a Tour de France winner. Did I say hi, or good luck, or hey man what gives? No...I said nothing. I just let him be. Besides, he needed to concentrate. His bike...what about his bike? The Ginger Daddy was getting on me about what bicycle he rode. It was a Kouta. A Kouta? Anyone out there heard of Kouta...anyone...Bueller?

Nice outfits
Lots of cool outfits I must say. Some stupid ones. Tight too. The OUCH Team (Floyd's) was pretty classy actually, so was Calavita. Perhaps another team will make it's own fashion statement in say 3 weeks...

Speed
Amazing...truly. I dream. Look, these dudes were FREAKISH fast. Even up the hills. Lightning on the flats. Around the corners? Soil yourself...what can I say.

These guys are...MANIMALS!

What a RACK!

2009-06-03T20:19:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

When haulin' the "Iron Horse," nothing beats a cool bike rack on top of the Ol' Das Auto...that's German for car, in case you didn't know that.

Grease...the Elbow Kind
Mounting the rack took a little old fashioned elbow grease. And I have to admit, I'm not the handiest of guys. In fact, some say I am the "Anti-Christ of Un-Handy Men." Which is not true. Regardless, I was successful installing the device. *With adjustments.

Hittin' da Road
Indeed, the true test would come this morning...a highway driving situation..through the gauntlet...Hwy 62 & 35w. With a hope and a prayer, I mounted up the Bianchi Eros on the FORD FOCUS... and off I went. Was I worried driving in? Was it going to fall off during rush hour traffic? Worried...shit...hell yeah.

In like Jim
I made it. Straight into the parking lot, with no problems. So what was my reward besides a sweet ride over the lunch hour? How about a nod from my-man Wallace. And, as he took a discriminating gander upon this glorious apparatus, what did he say to me...

"Nice Rack."

2009-05-27T18:11:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

So what's the FUSS...not when your ridin' the Murph with the KUSS. This Sprocket's team member has "Fists of Mountain Bike FURY."

Team Sprockets gave Murphy-Hanrehan a little piece of the business last Friday night. Indeed, one of the TS team members were in no mood to take any crap the Murph was willing to give out. No quarter drawn...no quarter given...or whatever the hell that saying is.

Let's roll girlfriend, uhh hmmmm.
The night was beautiful–perhaps, one of the best. The temperature made the ride solid perfect. The only down side to the evening...our unwelcome friends, the Mosquitos. Making their tenacious presence, though weak an annoying reminder of things to come. For the Kuss...it was game time! With Camel-Back loaded and his golden-rod color bike, the dude was ready to roll!

Operation...Get Er' Done.
The track was smooth the whole way through. Dry and tacky...the Murph was giving up it's good stuff this night. Stopping briefly for the occasional breather, or for a famous Team Sprockets course landmark. However, yours truly made embarrassing mess of the final stretch with a compromising "Endo" on a final obstacle. Quite unmanimal indeed.

Salut!
That's an ending to the sweet ride. We savored the ambrosia goodness of Flavor Country. The Kuss was indeed prepared. Two waters, two Red Bulls, and two delicious Modelo's to cap off night of parking lot jibber-jabber.

Boehm's puts the VIP in the ZIP

2009-05-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

A guy needs his places.

You know... places a guy can count on. Where a guy can just walk in and take care of business. In life, a guy needs a doctor, a barber, an auto mechanic, a bar, and of course a bike shop. Boehm's Bicycles is one of those places.

"Let's take a look."
I took my sick Bianchi Eros road bike into Boehm's in Mendota Heights recently. I didn't know what the problem was...it was hosed okay and the chain was slipping, and I'm an idiot. Well so what, they took care of it okay...geez. Their Diagnosis..."Your derailleur is broken." Before I knew...BLAMMO they fixed it. In a jiffy snap too. No waiting around like some nimrod. They even explained to me how and why. Even though they don't carry the Binachi brand with the fancy Campegnolo parts...they knew exactly what to do. Finally, they gave the bike a good look over, a wipe down, and my Bianchi was ready to go like sweet Wisconsin butter. Uhh hmmm.

It's about ME time...
Friends of SPROCKETS...I'm a needy man, you already know it. But hell, I like to browse like the next lunk. This shop, has what the TEAM SPROCKETS rider needs. No doubt. They got the goods, big and small – and they don't nag you to buy anything either. But, when the time comes to get the info..."Tom and The Boehm's Boyz" know their stuff. From kids bikes to helmets, saddles to chamois...or punk rock crankin' in the mechanics workstation...they have a solution to getz the jobz done.

I give this bike shop...a Better Business Stroker Ace.

Freezing & TOWER OF POWER

2009-05-16T09:09:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

It's 6:00am...do you know where your bike shorts are?

It was colder than a you know what, in a you know what. Indeed that's how it played for myself and The Ginger Daddy this last Saturday morning. It was a classic combination of The Giro Mendota and future to be named St. Paul grinder (Shepard Road-East River Road). Our toes were cold and so were our....umm...noses.

The TOWER of POWER
The Ginger Daddy brought his game this morning and he didn't hold back. Two Pop-Tarts and a glass of juice were all the fuel needed for this man to jump start an awesome ride. I don't want to be presumptuous, and I know doping is absolutely forbidden – and so far, the team is scandal free..but one does have to wonder...who's policing TEAM SPROCKETS?

Pop-Tarts?

Stroker Aced by the Ginger Daddy
Plato(Ohio) Hill is the moment of truth, unfortunately for yours truly. We started at the bottom together, but he dropped me like a drug store playground ball. He was gone, and I could barely see him. I reached the top and before I knew it... The Ginger Daddy had two fingers to his lips and...BLAMMO! I was on the recieving end of a LUXO-D KISS OFF! Audacious! Clearly, I knew he achieved Stroker ACE! I did redeem myself later through Old Mendota on a lesser hill. I was satisfied...but the score was on the board.

Sand BLASTED on The Mendota Bridge
The WIND was like nothing I have encountered to date. A terminal WALL of swirling vortex Fury...from all directions. I imagined this combination with rain – luckily the fate was with TEAM SPROCKETS. It was at it's worst on the bridge...sand BLASTED our faces...the sting of competition...a sober reminder that "the game of cycling" has another player...Mother F'ing Nature...uhhh hmmmm.

Watch out for the BADGER!

2009-05-13T06:50:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

The good times fell upon yours truly recently. Indeed the first mountain biking excursion of the year took place this last weekend in Hayward, Wisconsin.

Clearly it was an EXPEDITION long over due too. There had been much talk about where and when, and one could tell from The Sprockets Community, that the hype was really beginning to take on an edge of anxiety. Folks were wondering when it was going to happen. Quite frankly, with The Team Sprockets work schedule coming into play, (road riding, gear maintenance, injury recovery, and the NEW Team Sprockets Jersey design), who could say when...

Destination...Woodville.
I explored the Hatchery Creek & Mosquito Brook loops in the Hayward Cluster. Excellent single track course, with plenty of variety in terrain and a few minor obstacles to boot. This course similar to Murphy-Hanrehan, but with more naturally occurring small rocks and roots.

The BADGER Bit ME!
The ride was challenging and awesome. I felt taxed in a good way. Occasionally, I would need to take a breather and enjoy the scenery. El Dorado...no, but it was close. Insidiously, when comfort and joy are at their zenith...my friends of Team Sprockets... is when the bicyclist is at his most vulnerable. To my chagrin and shock, The BADGER STRUCK!

How?
Stupidly, I stalled out on a hill...came to a stand still...and fell over.

Most Un-Stroker Ace...indeed.

Plato, Ramsey, High Bridge Standing Up!

2009-05-05T19:16:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

It couldn't be done. Really? Wagers thrown, accusations uttered...the DARE was to be answered.

One, two, three...
The challenge of the season – climbing a major Team Sprockets hill STANDING UP...could it be done? "Chagrin." you temputous harpy. Indeed, that sick goal...only to be shattered by THREE, three hills standing up!

No doubt GARY!
Doubt...I thought about it, shit so what. They didn't give the kid a chance...typical. Berated and mocked...not up to the task. No doubt, I mocked myself. "Luxo-D...who do you think you are?" Friends of SPROCKETS... I had tenacity with a T-Plus Super Size.

Got no time to PUKE!
Plato(Ohio) was the first...hard & grueling, but I got to the top. No looking back...the quest was ON. Ramsey was next. Steep & excruciating, but completed was the flavor of the day. Lastly...the High Bridge. Long & arduous. The APEX of the ride. Ponder, it's steady vanquishing assent into oblivion. Alas the end...Cherokee Park you soothe my wary darf.

Look for it...
So I peeked over me shoulder...waiting for the right moment... and before they knew it...BLAMMO! Two fingers to the lips...and the invisible peloton got a piece of The Luxo-D Kiss Off!

It was the last thing they saw...

Luxembourgian Devil

2009-04-29T09:25:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

There's been a lot of talk about another Luxembourgian Devil lately...Andy Schleck, (on the Côte de la Roche aux Faucons)...but let's be clear, and make no mistake...the "Devil" is in the details.

Devils indeed

The Schleck brothers (Frank & Andy) are a force onto themselves...true perhaps. But do they have what it takes to get the job done? You know what I mean...win it! The workman like discipline seems like a noble venture going into a season. Good, fine and dandy. No doubt with a regimen like that, well hell... the enormous potential benefits stager high for the individual that is committed to the task.

Glory be to the devoted

Training... nuts. I for one have complained. Smugly, you know it. Don't play coy with Luxo-D. I don't like it okay, it annoys me, it strikes a blow to my self esteem. Lean and mean I am capable. Indeed I am berated too, for not liking PAIN. What jack-ass does. Kooks usually. Yet it behooves us all, to get to work. Put down the cupcakes, stop the night time snacking – with a beer in one hand and ketchup flavored chips in the other. Lost... is not that great of a show.

Panache be cashed for later

But panache, that glorious attitude, is where the game is WON. The Schlek boys, like their American brethren here...or yours truly...Luxo-D, understand it. A boring win, is a no win. It's the THRILL, not the SKILL of it. Don't give them....hmm "that was a steady climb".... or huh, "seems real steady on the flats".

Bring back the "Tit for Tat" of old school riding. Give the crowd some LIP. Give us CIRCUS & BREAD!

Ahh sadly...dopers and crashes are all we remember.

Ski-Bike...I wish!

2009-04-21T20:47:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Went skiing in Salt Lake City this last weekend. Snow sucked.
Pretty crabby. Maybe the jerk in this picture I found on the internet figured it out.

My nose is sunburned too.

Café Solo

2009-04-13T19:15:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Café Solo was the place to be this weekend...my friends, no doubt. I was on my own this time. Make that a single expresso my good fellow, and hold the sugar. This day, Team Sprockets were on different gears heading in different directions.

Let's meet at that new hot spot everyone is talking about...

I tried to hook up with the Ginger Daddy. You know, let's give The Giro Mendota some business...but it was too late. I made the call, but he went...shopping. Let's face it folks, everyone was going to Café Solo. It was busy too. The Waiter took lots of orders on this shift... "Do-It-Yourself" was the hot meal on the menu, uhhh hmmmm. I ordered a full helping. No one ever told me Café Solo was a franchise...cause the Ginger Daddy was at a different store.

Me so wonely. Briefly...

I was ONE man against road this time. No talking, no banter, no analysis...just silence and joy. I took it all in man, and the Kid did not complain. Maybe a little like I usually do. Okay, but I had it all...It was beautiful, the temperature was perfect, the roads were dry. Café Solo...you serve a satisfactory meal.

I gave myself a quiet and reverent...Stroker Ace.

Bridesmaid...never a Bride

2009-04-07T19:14:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Access denied indeed. Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival...my sorry arse.

What the hell does a guy gotta do, to get into this race...don't answer that. Gawd you people are such pervs. Geez get your own tots.

Talk about frustration city folks. It's official. The letter came in the mail the other day. Twice denied. Two years in a row now for yours truly. Luxo-D shant be riding down the lush September pastures this year at the Chequamegon. No sir, no mam, no sweet ambrosia... for this bike enthusiast, no doubt. Scorned again.

What do I do?

I know what you're thinking...that's because you people always think the lowest of me. "Will I cry in my water bottle– like a Big-Fat-Blubbering-Baby?" Perhaps. Okay yes. Ahhh...indeed you know me so well. My burden, it's true.

Well so what!

Maybe this time, I will volunteer to help out the race. HOW? By picking up garbage and GU packets, or handing towels to vomiting riders that fall off their bikes. Oh I have pride, and maybe I'll do those rude jobs...so next year... maybe next year...I'll get my shot at the Big time! Then somebody else can hand ME... Luxo-D... a vomit towel.

Or, I'll just stay home and paint some Warhammer 40k figurines.

First ride on the Giro Mendota

2009-03-30T21:58:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Yeah we did it.

Well so what, I didn't even barf this time.

So that's the way it was last week when The Ginger Daddy and I got out there and gave it our goodness. Good sweet ride too. Low key, with a few action moments to boot. We even gave Plato (Ohio) a little piece of our business and what for.
And jabbering... holy cow, this one dude in our bike club is a total Mister-Motor-Mouth all the way up the hill. Something about his back tire or something... hell I don't know.

Speed. Oh yes, The Ginger Daddy got a little down the roller coaster hill of Wentworth Avenue. 62K an hour or something freaky like that. Fast, that's what he said anyway. Who knows, I was way in back, so I have to take his word for it.

Yours truly captured the sprint to the end though. I deeked up the small curvy hill of Emerson Avenue, and then a quick right onto the straight away toward my house for the finish! YAAAAH! I was mine.

Glorious. I felt like that one guy... you know, what's his name.

Spring Bike Prep: The Gore and Stupidity

2009-03-22T07:29:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Stupid bicycles... I hate you, you're stupid!

So, you think a guy can just get on the old das Fahrrad and go for a little tour around the neighborhood... well forget it! That's the way it was, when yours truly here attempted to make the first ride on the Giro Mendota recently. BLOW-UP city is what this sad mother got! Uhh hmmm.

The Ginger Daddy inspired hope & glory
Anticipation was in the air. Fun they say. The Ginger Daddy said "GO, live the dream!" So, I tried... I tried... like a naive brain washed delusional dummy. The JOY, my friends, of the first ride of Spring...degenerated into an ugly accident prone tirade of self pity and annoyance.

All dressed up for The Tour de Garage
Yeah that's right, I never even made it out the garage. I got dressed and took the bike off the trainer, pumped up the front tire, went to pump up the back tire... and all hell broke loose from there.

Spokes like KNIVES
Yeeeouch! That's what I got, as I tried stupidly... to remove the pump nozzle off the bike valve. The spokes on the wheel are just like little knives waiting to gash any foolish finger entering it's realm. I even thought..."Be careful"....but it happened anyway!

From there it got worse. In five minutes I went from joy...to a full on tantrum. The kid...needed a time out. So I took one.

Flat tire repair and Sailor talk
I wrecked the tube! Now I had to change out the flat. Let me tell you, if you haven't changed a rear flat tire in awhile... it's a major pain in the von keester. No doubt. I even screwed up the derailleur chain combination on the back "Sprockets" to boot! Don't ask me what that means...it's hosed okay, that's all you need to know. Shit.

This kid was so exasperated by this whole quagmire... this NAM like situation. I did what only a red blooded dedicated bicycle rider can do...

I drank a beer... and pouted.

Bike Trainer HERO ll

2009-03-11T22:07:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

Ride monkey, ride! Be a Juke-Box-Hero...with stars in your eyes. Oh yeah, so sweet.

So let me ask you a question...how can a guy play Guitar Hero and ride a bicycle trainer at the same time? Indeed. A confounding question no doubt. Why? So wouldn't you like to know?

Answer...

Tenacity...uhh hmmm...with a capital "T" for tenacious. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of old fashioned rock n' roll wierdoness. That's what an AMPED-UP Dude does in front of the tube when he's got a little bit of "me time." Hell yes.

All Aboard! The Luxo-Express. Now that's a Ticket To Ride!

Bicycling in a Hockey Season

2009-03-08T16:28:00.000-05:00

By Luxo-D

What does hockey have to do with bicycling...nothing.
But so what, that's the way it always is. Everyone wants continuity, balance and symmetry. Maybe, a little sense of gestalt, uhh hmmm?
All good things, especially for bicycling. Right. Well hell, hockey isn't that way at all. Hockey is played on ice...gawd. Geez get your own tots.

The picture shown is The Championship Hockey Trophy. It's famous. Too bad you can't touch it, cause it's cool. The Ginger Daddy is in possession of it now.

Captastic!

2009-02-26T18:46:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Everyone love a good hat. Sometimes, the hat makes the man don't you think. Well hell sure. Sometimes the man...is the hat. Or he has hat hair.

Is it about fashion?
Ney! Oh sure, it looks good. But really, when you put a nifty hat on the knoggin'... it says..."Hey man, look at me, I'm in the game, and I'm gonna kick arse!"

When does a bike hat mean business?
After the fact usually. Or after a righteous ride. Simply put, a proper bike cap says, I got the goods...and I can take you out of the Giro Mendota anytime I want. That's what.

Look at the guy in the picture, he's got the action going on. Brand loyalty...attitude...and a little rock n' roll Game Fuel to get the job done.

Uhh hmmm.

Bike Trainer Purgatory

2009-02-20T15:16:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Ride monkey, ride. That's what I do. That's the nightmare called the bicycle trainer. Tedious, thankless, and sad. There's no lonelier time on a bike than there is on a trainer. Keep your cadence, stay focused, watch a little T.V., feel the burn.

B.S. is what it is.

Don't get me wrong, the theory of staying in shape over the winter months is grand. Especially, the potential to rise...GLORIOUS CONQUEST on the the High Bridge. Appealing, maybe.

It is not...when your son tells you, "Hey dad, is that a muffin top?" "Kick it into gear Old Man!"

Good Beer Fishing Naked?

2009-02-09T21:19:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

I ride bicycles, and I drink beer? Well so what...lot's of people do. It's America... geez...get your own tots.

As long as it tastes like normal, good tasting, old-man type, American beer. You heard me, come on now, that's what I said.

Most of these weird beers don't taste like normal beer. Micro beers, or themed beers...very suspicious. Generally, I aways thought these kind of beers tasted, weird, odd...not normal. Some were good, most sucked. Some were Un-American?

Okay...not communist! Just funny tasting...that's all. Like fluoride. And not in a good Grain-Belt way either.

Until now.

Let's face it–Fishermen drink lots of beer. Even though I think they're a little tedious and kinda bug me cause they catch fish and I can't...they know how GOOD beer should taste. Plus...the fish lady on the label is pretty good looking too. What is she, a fresh water mermaid? Uhh hmmm. I dig it.

Who wants to be naked? My ARSE! Some can, some should not. Hey, this naked beer is from Wisconsin. That's good. From some small town I've never been too. Probably...German...or something, probably. Germans make good beer.

I don't want to see naked Germans brewing beer.

The Luxo-D Kiss Off. Deadly but true.

2009-02-02T16:48:00.002-06:00

By Luxo-D

Blammo! The notorious "Luxo-D Kiss Off" just happened. Uh hmmm. Hey buddy, you just got the Kiss Off by Luxo-D! Whatta ya gonna do about it...cry?

What is it?
Look at the picture man, it's obvious. Sick right? Hell yeah, you don't want to be on the other end of that stuff!

So when does it happen?
Ahh, a dangerous question. You never know when the "Kiss" is about to strike. Usually, it is preceded by a worthy event of note. Yet, the Kiss is at it's maximum POWER after a *Stroker ACE! Regrettably, stunned recipients are rendered speechless, and stuplified.

How is the "Luxo-D Kiss Off" generated?
Everyday situations really. Getting the last cup from a pot of coffee, a thoughtful solution to a problem, or a snappy comeback to hounding questions from co-workers about where you're going to lunch that day. However, the purest LDKO form, is achieved by Hill Climbing Supremacy on the Smith Avenue High Bridge, or maybe the corner sprint of Knollwood Lane. My friends of Sprockets, it is when you least expect it–the infamous, yet deadly "Luxo-D Kiss Off" reveals its glorious self. Crass, yes. Mocking, likely. Pretty, always. When a Luxo-D Kiss Off happens, it's over.

The LDKO stinks righteousness. Sometimes, the "Kiss Off " can I dare say, be a "Stroker ACE!" Uh hmm. Example: "Hey Ginger Daddy, look out, I got this hill!" Zappo! Just like that...two fingers on the lips, and a kiss that says, good night sweetpea. You sir, just got Stroker ACED by the Luxo-D Kiss Off!

* Refer to archived article, Stroker ACE, on the explanation of a Stroker ACE.

Spider Bike

2009-01-27T19:32:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Pulleys...what a funny word. How ancient, how useful. Well, no doubt a handy thing at that. Check out the pulley contraption Little Debbie Snack Cake has set up for herself. Pull the line down, pull the line up. Just like that, a bicyclist can store their machine of conquest right on the ceiling...who would have thunk such a nifty thing...The Romans, The Greeks...who knows. Imagine, if you will...you walk into a place...and then...holy crap, there's a bike on the ceiling! So then you might shout..."Hey, is that Spider Bike?" "Shit!...I'm not kidding...I bet that's Spider Bike!"

A Tale of Two Giro's, but not really...

2009-01-16T12:40:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

What does the Giro Italia and the Giro Mendota have in common? Nothin', that's what. Both are coveted road courses of historic note and tradition, and there's always an official team car. So...who does a guy gotta be, to get in the team car? Huh? The Dodger gets around...oh he's got connections. Look at his smug-mug. Resize? What kind of team name is that? Who cares, the dude gets to ride in a team car at the Giro Italia. Maybe he's is too cool for school, but I'd give Lance's left nut to ride in a team car! The Dodger gets a "Stroker ACE" on this one. No doubt.

My fingers now stink in a NEW way

2009-01-12T21:09:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

My fingers stink. Smell em. They really do...I'm not kidding. That's what I thought when I ate a delicious Big Mac a while back. That is...until now! Holy Crap, you thought my fingers stank then...well check this out my fellow bikers, I just ate a delicious handful of Old Dutch Ketchup flavored chips. Uhh Hmmm–Yummy-D! I discovered them at Spirit Mountain in Duluth while skiing with my kids. My wife said she just about "puked " when she ate one. She even had the nerve to say they smelled like vomit! I don't care what she or anyone else says, these chips jazz me big time. I dedicate this chip to my friend Little Debbie Snack Cake.

Stylin' the Knoggin

2009-01-08T19:18:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Banesto, Quick-Step, Rabobank...what does it matter? The teams come at go now days. Too many drugs, too many transfusions, too many sneaky tricks, too many celebrity girlfriends, too many cheaters. But one thing is certain, hey man, everyone loves a cool cap on their knoggin!

Heart Association

2009-01-03T16:11:00.000-06:00

By Cobra Kai

Back from Austin and that TeamStrong promotion. I was suspicious, but I guess it really was legit. 300 bucks (tax deductible, as it pays for Armstrong's jet fuel as he fights the good fight) bought the chance to try out as a driver for one of the 8 motorbikes that Astana uses in training. I thought I did great in the slalom course, and the quick brake on wet pavement. The psych evaluation was a breeze (for every one of the ink blots I answered, "That's Lance on <<<*insert name of famous col*>>>>!!!"). Things only got sticky on the last day when each of us contestants took out 5 of the neon baby blue's for 1.5 hours of motopacing. Who's the bright bulb at Ducati who put the accelerator on the other hand? I just about took off the director's wife's legs just leaving the garage before the Battlin' Belgian tackled me and wrestled my hand from what I had been sure was the brake. I guess I wasn't surprised they cut me then and there. Johan was even swell and broke it to me straight, and with a beautiful metaphor: "You know how there's always a big bin of water bottles but we always wind up picking the same one each day? No ill reflection on the other bottles, right? They just don't get chosen, right?" I smiled and played along: "Yeh, I guess I'm like the Heart Association bottle that folks get at the fun run - nothing wrong with it, it just don't get used!" Johan stared, coughed, and said, "Well, maybe more like the lab cup right in the middle of the bin - the one we're never really sure where it's been." Was that rude? Well maybe. But the guy is a 8 time tour champ, so forget what the haters say about how handy he is with a syringe. I felt lucky just casting a shadow in his shine.

Stupid bike helmets and stinky ski gloves.

2009-01-03T08:27:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Here's how some bicycle seasons end. It stinks, but that's da tough love, can you dig it. Look at this helmet. Stupid. Look at how stupid it looks, all mixed in with a bunch of winter stuff. I bet that ski glove smells like vinegar. That's rude huh? Don't you wish you could smell it? There's a famous album from the band Spinal Tap... it's called, "Smell the Glove." Sometimes, hockey is stupid too.

Triangle Sandwiches... the fuel of Champions!

2008-12-31T15:33:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

If you thought fingers smell after eating a Big Mac. Well... Eat this!

When it comes to bicycling, lets face it, bikers eat weird stuff. It's fuel, for up the hill, around the bend, and through the finishing line, (The Immortal's white Ford in this case). Whatever it takes, from GU, to power bars, to who the FREAK knows what, if it gives a dude an edge... hell, we'll eat it!

The Triangle sandwich, is no doubt in the same league. Truly. Guys love these. Even though, my female cycling friends don't agree, consider this... They're perfectly sliced, they come in different flavors, the package is blue... all good. Besides, haven't we all heard of the "Power Pyramid." Hmmmm? Easy yummy, for the money! The sandwich pictured is tuna.

The Wolverine & other bike injuries

2008-12-23T12:42:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

The horror... the horror. Indeed, the joy of bicycling is a wonderful thing, especially when a cyclist finishes the day on the perfect run. The bliss, sitting there, on the sofa relaxing and reflecting on the great time on the ol' bike. Sippin' your suds, like a jerk, bragging about that awesome corner turned, that rock jumped, that perfect cadence maintained. Until... until that moment of truth comes to fruition... the CRASH, the WIPE-OUT, the BIG SPILL! "I'm hurt, boo hoo hooo hooo." "Oh NO...my beautiful legs, my beautiful elbows!"

So how do we handle freak-out-city? We relish it... that's how. It's part of the game, and these are the rules. and nobody said it is going to be a joy ride...or do they? Eh hem... so... oh sure, your wife looks at you like your some idiot, or a fool that's eventually going to kill themselves... but a boy or girl has to LIVE THE DREAM for cryin' out loud.

So we wrap up the oozing wounds, wear loose pants, and get back on the iron horse. From the first road rash to the last bloody gouge, the dedicated cyclist will wear these scars as a badge of honor. A gnarly, scab ridden medal really. Only to be revealed, at awkward and inappropriate times, and discussed with annoyingly lengthy pride. In time, the true cyclist will learn to love these marks as good friends... sometimes even naming them, and even loving them like a trusted pet. Hence... The Wolverine (not shown in the attached picture), but that is for another story.

Fishtails on the Lakeville Lolligag

2008-12-20T11:55:00.000-06:00

By Cobra Kai

I read about Pereiro signing up for the Aussie race in January and it got me thinking about my own southern Shangri La. So I hopped in the car to do a little early winter recon of the Lolligag - the 30 mile time trial route in Lakeville that sets teeth on edge, and Luxo's stomach in knots. 10 pm last night.

Still no blacktop overcoat on the parade route that forms the first 3 or 4 miles. And the climbs on the back side were even longer than I remember. It was a wind swept no man's land. Then something wierd happened - up ahead, setting a terrific pace on the climb where my car's tires were just then spinning, I saw a yellow glow. I pushed on the accelerator to catch up but it wasn't easy - at first just more fishtailing. But eventually my tires found purchase and I swear I pulled alongside a riderless Schwinn Peleton! I was first scared, then confused, and then euphoric. Like the first time I heard Freddy Mercury sing. I was thinking what you're thinking so I called up the Immortal. The phone picks up and I can barely hear him cackle over the sound of a battle rifle's roar. I tell him where I am and he guesses why I'm calling, "Yeh Baby, sometimes in the winter she gets the cabin feaver so I let her out to stretch her legs!!"

So that's what we're up against. The supernatural. I'll need a crackerjack mantra this winter if I'm to have any chance of holding the golden one's wheel next May. Current candidate: "steel sharpens steel".

Triathlon & The MAN with THREE NAMES

2008-12-19T16:39:00.000-06:00

By Luxo-D

Ride three name man, ride...ride for your life! Indeed, SMB (aka. The Man with Three Names) did just that, at the 09 Lifetime Fitness Triathlon this summer in Minneapolis. Look at him bravely participate in a competition, even yours truly would never have the courage go for. He didn't even throw-up! And why would he...? He trained all summer to take on nature and worse of all... himself. Shrudly, he may have even won a t-shirt for all proud efforts. No doubt, SMB will be back for more next year, more DANGEROUS than ever! Watch out... the Man with Three Names is the next 09 Triathlete MANIMAL in our books.

Stroker ACE!

2008-12-18T16:26:00.000-06:00

In the strange world of bicycling, or should we say in the strange world of Team Sprockets...what kind of place is it... when a rider finds themselves in a situation where they can claim and exclaim..."Stroker ACE." Indeed, only an acute insider truly knows. But for the uninformed... it simply means: When a bike rider finds him or herself in an opportunity to smoke, or burn, or over come a fellow rider on a corner, up a hill, through an obstacle, or on a flat, when a clear and decisive win has been achieved. At that precise moment of recognizing this achievement, the rider proclaims..."Stroker Ace!"

Chocolate Milk

2008-12-17T23:35:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I worry that there is no more chocolate milk anywhere in the world. Not in Iran or Tasmania or even Mendota Heights. Then I wake up in a cold sweat and cry myself softly back to sleep.

I can write too

2008-12-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

I may be stupid, not very good at math...but the Kid digs blogging! Hell, he's blogging his ass off right now, and loving it. Sure, nobody is reading this thing yet, but a boy can dream. And that my fellow Sprocket followers is how a village is built. One stupid blog to the next.

But let's be clear...this blog is going to eventually talk about bicycling and the bicycling lifestyle we want to talk about.